Everyone except Cole and myself are asleep. Poor Accalia started feeling rather bad last night with an ear ache. By the time we got to her checkup, she had a fever and a worse ear ache. She also had a bunch of wax in both ears that the nurse flushed out. The nurse also told me where Accalia was at as far as the growth chart and percentages, and it's interesting since it's still matching up to what she was like as an infant and toddler. At 52 pounds, she's in the 25th percentile for weight, and at 49 1/2 inches tall, she's in the 50th percentile for height. Accalia was in bed around 9 p.m., so I can tell she's not feeling well at all.

Cory was home for supper before going off to two appointments. Earlier in the day the kids had wanted to go to the wading pool, and I told them sure, but could we do that after supper since there won't really be time in the afternoon with Ella napping and Accalia's appointment? No problem, Mom! So off we went after supper only to find that the wading pool is closed until further notice due to a broken pump. Grr... That was not a happy toddler I had to carry back to the van. Then I suggested the beach even though the lake water was probably going to be pretty cold. We headed out there and spent an hour or so splashing around in the chilly waves and playing in the sand. We were the only ones there other than a small group of college kids hanging out and drinking malt beverages.

Tomorrow Accalia starts her summer session at the art studio, and Cole, Ella and I will be taking Accalia to swimming lessons once again since Cory has clients. I promised Cory that I'd put away laundry, so I'd better be sure to do that!

Sitting on the couch and taking pictures of ourselves is about all of the energy I feel like mustering today. It was a fun and busy weekend, but I stayed up way too late Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights and I'm paying the price today. The kids and I even slept in until 9 a.m. today. I don't think I've slept in that late since right after one of the kids was born! Isn't that sad that 9 a.m. is sleeping in for me?

Chloe and Alexia were over for about four hours Friday evening while their parents took another foster parenting class. The kids all had fun and spent almost all of the time outside since Mercedes was able to play once again and had three cousins (ages 6, 10, 11) over for the night. Two of those cousins were boys, and Cole was in heaven with two boys who wanted to run around with him and play with all of his vehicles. Accalia will sometimes want to do that with him but not nearly enough. By the time Chloe and Alexia left, Cole was entering meltdown mode because of how tired he was, and none of the kids were up terribly late.

Saturday was a rainy day on and off, but Cole and Accalia still ran around outside for much of the day with Mercedes and her cousins. We ran a couple errands throughout the day, too, but overall it was a fairly lazy, sticking around at home sort of day. That night Cory and I stayed up too late for having young children who wake up fairly early. The reason for that is because we still hadn't watched the final three hours of Lost, and after we watched the first of those three hours we couldn't just go to bed and leave it be. Thankfully the other two hours lived up to our expectations. It's sometimes frustrating watching Lost because there some questions are answered, but new questions are always being raised.

So Sunday morning dawned much too quickly, but we took it easy. Cory did the grocery shopping in the morning, and in the afternoon we spent a couple hours at the rec center during open swim. That meant Ella's usual afternoon nap was pushed way back, and she was so exhausted by the time we got home around 3 p.m. Both she and Cole ended up napping for two plus hours. That meant the three of us had a very late night together before they were ready to sleep again.

We're all surviving, though, and having a fairly quiet day so far. Accalia has a checkup later this afternoon. She hasn't had one since she was five and hasn't even been to the pediatrician since then because there's been no need. When I took Ella in for her 18 month checkup, though, I asked how often they recommend older children having checkups. They said usually every couple years, so that's what we're doing.

After supper I think the kids and I are going to the wading pool in town because that's opening up today. So is the big pool, but since there's not a shallow area for Cole and Ella to play in there, we're sticking with the wading pool. Thankfully Accalia doesn't mind since she has plenty of other opportunities to swim in deeper water. We'll have to check out the lake soon, although I have a feeling that's going to be rahter cold yet!

The rest of the week is filling up quickly, so there should be all sorts of things to do.

Co-sleepers of the world unite! The Argus Leader has a poll up asking if it's okay for children to sleep in the parents' bed. More than 90% say no. If you're so inclined to vote, click here.

Tonight Cole, Ella and I took Accalia to her swimming lesson since Cory had to see a client at the same time. Other than saying the water was too cold, Accalia had fun. She seems to have a really nice instructor who takes the time to be with each child and help when he sees them struggling. Accalia is probably one of the weakest swimmers in her class - weak as in having the stamina to swim, not weak in being able to do the different strokes - but she doesn't seem discouraged by that, which I'm so happy to see. Accalia has always loved going to different lessons or classes, and so far she's really had a great time with all of it because the instructors are so great about just making sure the kids are enjoying themselves and exploring the subject matter.

We actually had Cory home with us for much of the day. His meeting in Sioux Falls was over right away this morning, and he was home by 11:30 a.m. We went to McDonald's for lunch so the kids could run around and we could sit and talk. Poor Ella was injured by another little girl, though. Ella and this girl were standing by each other, and Ella leans over to give her a hug. When Ella stepped back, though, the little girl stepped forward and scratched her cheek. Ouch!

After that, we went to Wal-Mart to pick up supplies to actually get our vegetable garden started for the year. We even planted everything this afternoon while Ella took a two hour nap. Since we've gotten a late start, we did buy a few plants rather than starting everything from seed. We bought green, yellow and red pepper plants, a few tomato plants, and a cucumber plant. Accalia and Cole asked for the cucumber plant, although I'm not sure why since I'm the only one in the family who likes them. Then we planted radishes, carrots, the rainbow variety of swiss chard, pumpkins and watermelon.

Our various flowers are starting to pop up. We have 4 o'clocks in the front and back, and Accalia's garden of butterfly and hummingbird friendly flowers such as bee balm and lavender hyssop (something else, too) are starting to spring up.

Cole had fun this morning using his Thing hands as feet.


Someone gave me an amazing compliment yesterday. You know how someone will tell you something that just makes you feel in awe that they think you're capable of a task? It was one of those compliments, and it was especially nice because the entire event that started it out was something I felt completely incapable of taking on. How's that for incredibly vague?

Accalia, Cole and I were hoping to do a little sky watching tonight since it's a blue moon and Jupiter is right up there by the moon, but it's too cloudy to see anything.

Tomorrow Chloe and Alexia will be coming over to spend the evening. I think the kids are looking forward to that. We haven't seen them for a couple weeks. As for the rest of the weekend, I do believe we'll spend time at the rec center in the pool. Cory and I want to catch up on a bunch of season finales of our favorite tv shows that we taped, too.

Found the cord for the camera! Actually, Cory uncovered it.





Tried out piggy tails in Ella's hair. Quite cute while she allowed them to stay in!



We have to head off to Accalia's swimming lesson now. Be back later!

Still no camera cord in sight. I didn't actually look for it today, though. It's been a day filled with too much noise, one quite cranky 19-month-old, and more messes than usual. I also ended up spending too much time on the computer, so all of this might be related. Sigh.

Can't life ever slow down? I just want to wake up one morning and find myself in a Corona commercial, sitting on a white sand beach with my only job holding that bottle of beer.

Here's to tomorrow!

I was going to post a couple pictures today, but I can't find the cord I need to download the pictures onto the computer. Shoot! I have a feeling Ella found it and stuffed it away somewhere. I'll have to start looking...

It's been a cloudy, rainy day, although it didn't rain very hard most of the day. We did make it to the Gavins Point National Fish Hatchery this morning, and the kids had a fun time looking around at the fish, snakes, turtles, etc. Ella and I would stand in front of one of the tanks, and she'd point and babble on and on. Ella still usually says just one word at a time that I can actually understand, but she loves to talk to me in her baby speak and it's just fascinating to watch and listen to her as she mimics word and sentence patterns. Can't wait until she joins her brother and sister in talking nonstop!

We went to the library this afternoon since we had a few books due and I had to make a copy of something for Accalia's fall soccer registration. We loaded up on a few more books, too. After Accalia picked out the books she wanted, she decided she wanted to organize the children's area: putting away toys in the bins, straightening the little plastic chairs, etc. That is totally something that I would have done at her age, too! I remember just loving to be able to tidy up other people's spaces. It's too bad that love didn't always overflow to my own space, huh?

Cory had a cancellation tonight, so he was home in time to eat supper with us before taking Accalia to her swimming lesson. Accalia had a good time and is already talking about being able to go again in a couple days.

I've been listening to the Indigo Girls' Shaming of the Sun cd quite a bit lately. To me, it always feels like such a summery album.

We often get junk mail urging us to try out a children's club, activity, etc. for free with just a few dollars shipping. If Accalia's interested in it, we'll often sign up to get that initial shipment for $3 or $4 and then cancel afterwards. We did that with Top Secret Adventures from Highlights, and Accalia absolutely loved that first mystery that took place in Mexico. Today she received her second one - this time in Australia - and has been working on it on and off since this afternoon. Actually, we both have fun doing it. I imagine this is one thing we'll keep getting.

No clue what we'll do tomorrow. Cory will be gone for his staff meeting.

We're back...Again! I don't believe we're going out of town this coming weekend, and I'm very happy about the prospect of staying right here in Yankton for two weeks. I brought along our camera but didn't take a single picture. Oh well.

Accalia, Cole and I just got back inside from lying on a blanket outside in our front yard and looking at the stars. The stars aren't very bright tonight, but the moon is bright and beautiful. Cole is very excited about one day going to the moon and bouncing around.

We had another good visit to Mankato and once again saw lots of family. We saw sister-in-law Kathy, nephew Elijah and niece Lizzy for about an hour Friday evening. Then both of my brothers and their families, my parents and ourselves went to a park outside of Mankato - Seven Mile for those who live in the area - and spent a couple hours walking around on the trails, playing on the playground, etc. On Sunday we got together for a non potluck at my uncle Norman's house and saw lots of other relatives, including Rachel and her family. We don't get to see Norman and Elizabeth and their five boys (and families for two), so that was really nice. Then we had church in the evening. When we weren't visiting with family or at parks, Cole was very happy to be Grandpa's shadow. Accalia decided to spend a lot of time hanging out with Grandma, too, when Cory and I wanted to run a couple erands. Cole also has taken quite a liking to my parents' neighbors - mostly because of their dog - and when they're outside he'll stand on the fence just talking and talking and watching them.

Cory had three clients tonight from 6-9 p.m., so we didn't have much of an evening together. Tomorrow he'll be gone until around 7, and then he'll take Accalia to swimming lessons (she starts tomorrow and is very excited). Cory will be gone overnight on Wednesday for a staff meeting and be back on Thursday for clients in the evening. Since Accalia's swimming lessons are Tuesdays and Thursdays, that means I'll get to take Accalia and figure out what to do with Cole and Ella so that Ella in particular won't be heading to the pool every chance she gets. We'll have Chloe and Alexia over on Friday for the evening, and that'll bring us to the weekend.

So last Wednesday the neighbor girl Mercedes was still not home two hours after she was supposed to be, and her mom and stepdad took off looking for her. Tonight when I was sweeping out our front entry, she ran past after one of their dogs and stopped to say hello. After we talked for a few minutes, I told her that she'll have to come over tomorrow to play. She informed me that she can't play for five more days because she's grounded for a total of 10 days. Apparently last Wednesday she and another friend went all the way to the duck pond park, which is a couple miles from our house and along and across several very busy streets. So I guess Accalia and Cole won't have her to play with this week.

Tomorrow I'm not so sure what we'll do. I told Cole we could go to the aquarium since we didn't get to it last week when they wanted to because it was closed. Perhaps we'll do that.

We're heading out tomorrow to spend the holiday weekend in Mankato. Today was another busy day of packing, doing laundry, trying to stay caught up with emails and LLL work, etc. I don't feel as if I've caught up from being gone last week yet, so it's been a challenging week in that regard. I guess after this weekend we'll be staying around Yankton for a good chunk of the summer, so I'll hopefully be getting back in the groove.

Tonight after Cory's 7 p.m. intake, we took the kids to the carnival. Last year Accalia and Cole had tried out a small roller coaster right away. Accalia loved it, but Cole was scared. This year he wanted to try it again, and once again he wanted off after the first trip around. It was interesting, though, seeing his "progress." Last year he was almost inconsolable, but this year he kept his cool and just yelled that he wanted off. He's definitely not into rides that go up and down at all. He even changed his mind about the merry go round. He found plenty of other things to do, though: bouncy houses, a big obstacle course set up, a super slide - I went with him on the super slide because he wasn't quite big enough to go on his own. Cory went on the ferris wheel and bumper cars with Accalia. Ella wasn't interested in going on anything but had a blast people watching.

So that was probably the highlight of the day. I should be back here late on Monday or Tuesday.

Another busy day. We picked up Accalia's dance recital pictures from the photographer this morning, made a stop at the store to satisfy Cole's craving for tootsie rolls and otherwise had a fairly quiet start to the day. After Ella's nap, we decided to have a lazy afternoon wandering around town.








We first stopped at this area near the bike/walking path along the Missouri River and right next to the Meridian Bridge. Accalia and Cole wore themselves out rolling down the big hill and running back up. Ella hung out near me and watched all of the vehicles crossing the bridge into Nebraska.

After that we drove out to the lake and drove through the campground that we'll be staying at for our campout in June. We're actually staying in almost the exact same spots we were two years ago, which I think is just fine. There's a play area behind some of the campsites, so the kids can just run back there and play and still be very close.

On our way out, we had to pull off of the road and get out to see the turtle that was in the middle of the road. Unfortunately it had been run over, and we could see the cracked shell. The kids were very reassured to know that I wasn't the one who ran over it. We then headed over to a nearby park and hung out for a while. We spent some time near the water's edge, collecting tiny shells, throwing rocks into the water and watching the little fish that were swimming close to shore.

Back at the playground, Accalia and Cole collected sticks and rocks and opened up their own dinosaur shop specializing in dinosaur bones and eye balls.

Cole was a very attentive shop keeper.



Ella collected rocks.



Then she threw them.



Accalia's wearing her new polka dot outfit that she picked out herself and dearly loves.



Cory had another day of not getting home until after 7 p.m., and after he had supper he mowed the lawn. Tomorrow night his late appointment is at 7 p.m., but after that we're going to the carnival that's set up shop in the mall parking lot. They come twice a year, and the kids have been talking and talking about the next time it will be here.

I have to say that today is not ending up being a very productive day. Lots of interruptions, which is obviously normal in a house full of children, but seems more intense so far this week. We went to the store this morning to pick up a few food necessities. Accalia also wanted to get some knitting needles (thanks for the link, Shannon!) but ended up seeing a new poster kit she'd been hoping to have and went with that instead. She's also decided she wants to crochet and do embroidery or cross stitch. Cole has been asking to get his rice box again (uncooked rice in a plastic container) for play, so we picked up supplies for that. It's one of those things that's much less messy outside since the rice doesn't necessarily stay in the box and you keep finding grains of rice months and months later, but Cole is happiest setting up shop in the kitchen with that.

Right now Mercedes and Accalia are in the living room using Accalia's sewing machine. Mercedes just told me that she knows how to knit, so that will come in very handy once we actually obtain knitting needles!

I just got off the phone helping a nurse in Mobridge with a breastfeeding quandry. I had to wait until Ella went down for her (late) nap before attempting to return that phone call.

Do you know a parent or have a parent who plays favorites? Now that I'm a parent of multiple children, I can't imagine ever favoring one child over the other. Of course there are different things about each child to love, but that doesn't mean one is better than the other. That being said, Ella is at an age where I just can't get enough of her!



I love her hugs and kisses, and she's really a much more cuddly child than Accalia or Cole at this age.

I love kissing her neck and hearing her giggle.

I love watching her dance like she's part of a Riverdance production.

I love how she runs to bring her shoes to me when she wants to go outside and once she's done that she runs to find my shoes.

I love that she's able to open the paint that Accalia wasn't able to open. (I don't love cleaning up the paint she got all over herself and the floor, though).

Those are just a few reasons she's such a blast right now, but there are few things nicer than an exuberant toddler with a squishy belly to zerbert and chubby cheeks to kiss.

Oh my gosh, was this ever one of those days where you don't seem to actually be able to accomplish a task! It seriously took me all day just to unload and load the dishwasher. I'm hoping to feel more productive tomorrow.

Our morning consisted of mailing a few letters, going to the bank, and going to the library. At the library, we picked up another Pippi Longstocking book for Accalia and a stack of Curious George books for Cole. Ella was content to draw with chalk and talk to the other children nearby.

In the afternoon, we had the hose out, and Cole and Ella had a blast completely soaking themselves. This evening Mercedes and Annie were over, and everyone played around in the kiddie pool. I think it would have been much more pleasant, though, if the two girls had not been playing over here together. Mercedes told me that they had a fight and that they fight a lot but that they were friends right now. They weren't really getting along tonight, though. I was outside with them for part of the time but came inside when Cory was close to coming home. It was getting to the point where someone was constantly coming to the back door to tell on the other, so I finally asked them to stop telling on each other - that I had no plans to punish one or the other for their transgression - but that I'd be more than happy to sit with them and talk about what they might do to get along better. They thought that sounded good, but it didn't happen tonight. We'll have to do that tomorrow if both are over and the squabbling continues.

Before they were over, though, the kids and I went to Goodwill to drop off a donation. Then, of course, we had to look around. Accalia picked out a skein of yarn (she's determined to learn how to knit so that means I'm going to have to figure it out, too). Cole picked out a package of Mighty Beanz (they sell them for 50 cents) and a puzzle. I found a pair of khaki pants for Cole (for chruch and other dressy purposes) with the tags still on for less than $2. I even picked up a few books for me - some that were even on my Amazon wish list. If anyone ever looks at my wish list, they'd probably be overwhelmed by the length of it. Sure, there are things on there that I definitely want to get, but I also use it to dump books/cds/etc. that I may be interested in checking out later on and want a place to find them.

Poor Cory is getting hit hard with work right now. The other counselor at the prison has to be up in Huron this week and possibly next week to assist with disaster services because of the flooding and damage from the storms at the beginning of the month. So that means Cory will be flying solo there. His contract work with the local behavioral health center is winding down a bit, but his work with Counseling Associates - the private practice he does with the counselor who was my doula with Ella - is really picking up. The nice thing about that is it's bringing in a few hundred more dollars each week than we previously had and will hopefully help us pay down our debts more quickly. I think he's also genuinely excited about the counseling he gets to do there compared with at the other places.

I have some emails I should answer before bed, but I'm not sure if that will happen.

Here's a little bit of Ella to end the day. She's nursing to sleep in my arms right now after a day of no napping. Oh, a couple times she actually nursed to sleep and I laid her down in bed, but she popped right now. I guess it was just one of those days where the adventures of being awake were far more important than catching some zzz's.

Accalia and I are having a lot of fun doing this 20-minute strength training routine from O Magazine. I'd highly recommend it if you're looking to do something like that yet have trouble figuring out a routine or attending a class or even finding a decent DVD. The nice thing is that each exercise doesn't take very long, so it's pretty simple to stop between exercises to help out one of the kids if needed. It's fun for Accalia, too, because there are a few exercises where the first position in ballet is used. There are also a few exercises that remind us of yoga we've done, too. I do have to say it's rather hard to concentrate when one curly-headed 18-month-old is sticking a piece of licorice in my belly button. Or maybe that's just me.

This coming week is wide open up until we leave for Mankato on Friday to stay there until Monday. All of Accalia's activities are done and won't start up until next week or the next few weeks. I'm definitely going to enjoy this final week where the public schools are still in session and we have the days to ourselves, but I know Accalia and Cole are eager to see Mercedes since they haven't seen her since last Monday. Not sure where she's been this weekend.

So that's about it from here. I need to balance the checkbook, but I'll save that excitement until tomorrow.

Life has been quite full since I posted last Monday. We had a very nice visit to Mankato, and as usual the days filled up quickly. It's always a little harder for the kids since Grandpa usually puts them to work right away. One day Accalia and Cole had to wash out the bed of one of my dad's trucks:

Ella was so exhausted after having to carry buckets of water to Accalia and Cole that she zonked out for a long afternoon nap:


Then, of course, Cole had to figure out how he'd wear the clothes provided for him at my parents' - a pair of shorts much too big for him:


All told tongue in cheek, of course. Please don't call social services on my parents!

Seriously, though, the kids were able to play with their cousins every day and even snuck in a visit with Rachel and her three kiddos. We went to a couple different parks. At the one my dad accompanied us to on Wednesday morning, he pushed Accalia and Cole so much in the tire swing that Accalia ended up getting sick.

It was a really good visit, and we'll be back this coming Memorial Day weekend - this time with Cory along.
Once we made it back to Yankton, we had Chloe and Alexia over Friday evening. The kids ran through their remaining energy by the time Karine came back to pick Chloe and Alexia up around 9:30 p.m.

Saturday was the start of a very active weekend in Yankton. Throughout South Dakota, it's open house weekend for state parks and free fishing, so that draws a lot of people to the lake area. It's also Meridian Trails weekend, which encourages people to take advantage of all of the walking and biking trails around town. To top it all off, it was also Yankton Day. I think this started last year, where different places around Yankton waive fees or hold open houses so you can take a look around at things you might not otherwise do. After Cory tilled up our flower beds and veggie garden (had to rent a tiller because his is not working), we made our first stop at the miniature golf/go cart place out by the lake to take in a free round of golf. Unfortunately, a place that has large numbers of decorative rocks and various water spots is just too tempting for an 18-month-old who enjoys nothing more than throwing objects in water. So I spent the entire time trying to keep Ella from throwing everything she could find in the water. Maybe next year Ella will want to try out the golf course with one of their little plastic kiddie clubs. After that, we decided to take a break for lunch since Ella was getting quite cranky.

Then we headed over to the House of Mary Shrine. While I can't appreciate it the way the Catholics who visit it do, it is a beautiful and very peaceful place. The kids loved hiking all the way up the hill to the three large crosses. Here we are with Lewis & Clark Lake in the background (the bluffs are on the Nebraska side):


After that, we went for a tour of the powerplant at the Gavins Point Dam. It as a pretty short tour, and even the kids thought it was interesting. We drive over the top of the dam so often, so it was neat to see what it's like underneath all of that concrete and water. On our way out, we stopped to look down to where the water spills into the lake, and we could see a bunch of the HUGE paddlefish that draw so many people to fish in this area.

I'd better stop for now. Everyone is up and about and eager for my help.

The kids and I are leaving tomorrow morning (hopefully!) to spend a few days in Mankato. We'll be back on Friday. Most of the day was spent doing laundry, putting away laundry and packing, so there's nothing too exciting to write about. I also took the van in for an oil change this afternoon and found out the front brakes are really bad, so those are going to be replaced tomorrow before we leave.

Have a great week!

Happy Mother's Day, mamas! I hope you're enjoying a day full of joy and peace with your children. The necklace I'm wearing was made by Accalia and works extremely well as a nursing necklace to entertain those busy little hands of Ella.

My day started out good although too early for my liking (even though it was 8 a.m.) I went to bed at 2 a.m., so I guess I have no one but myself to blame for being tired. Everyone was up within a half hour of me, and I was quickly presented with cards and gifts. I received a small box of yummy dark chocolate truffles, Arcade Fire's latest cd and a new wind chime to add to my small collection on the back porch. It's the first one with a green leaf (if you can tell that) in the picture below.



It's a fairly hot and very windy day, and we got out our wading pool and filled it up. The kids have been having a blast with it, and I couldn't resist taking a picture of Ella in her swimsuit (an old one of Accalia's purchased at Old Navy). Don't ya just love that belly?



In a previous post I mentioned that Cole is having a hard time right now not being first in a race, losing a game, etc. Sister-in-law Jessica asked how I handle this. First let me say that I'm ALWAYS open to gentle and respectful ideas because I often find myself completely clueless how to handle these things.

Cole usually has the hardest time dealing with these things when he's tired or hungry, so obviously it helps a great deal to stay on top of things and avoid these situations when tiredness or hunger abounds. This usually works with a gentle reminder to Accalia. Of course, feeding Cole and encouraging rest are also helpful.

I also find that the more I'm present with the kids the less likely these things are to happen. Actually, being present with your children is probably just about the best way to prevent a lot of these things from happening.

Obviously, though, you're not always going to be present or able to prevent these things, so I try to lessen the bigness of the competition. If Accalia and Cole race to the van and Cole is upset because he wasn't first, I'll sometimes say something along the lines of, "Hey, you're second! Ella's third! I'm fourth! I've always wanted to be fourth!" Or I use humor: "You're right, Cole. You weren't first. You're actually a blue elephant!" Sometimes those tactics are successful. Other times Cole can't be detracted from the hurtfulness of this indignity. So then I usually use those active listening skills honed by LLL work: "You're upset that you didn't come in first, bud. You wanted to be first, didn't you?" Sometimes all Cole wants is to be acknowledged.

Accalia's at an age, too, where she'll help out to lessen or prevent some situations. For instance, last night we went to Wal-Mart to wander around (and bought five tulips for 10 cents each), and the kids first stopped in the game room so Accalia and Cole could play air hockey. I knew right away that Cole would have a major meltdown if he didn't win, so I quietly asked Accalia if she could let Cole win and she eagerly went along with that.

A book that I've heard is helpful with some of these issues (I've owned it since before Cole was born but have yet to read it) is Siblings Without Rivalry.

Most helpful for our family (since they come from an unschooling perspective) would be the parenting examples and information on sites such as Sandra's and Joyce's. I think the information is definitely helpful for any family, though.

We have relatively few family pictures of us - formal and informal - but my parents snapped this one not long before Accalia's recital, so I though I'd share it. Hmm, it looks like Cory and I are somewhat coordinated. Not planned at all. I guess that's what nearly 10 years of marriage does to a couple.

Cory, Accalia and Cole left around 1 p.m. to see Spiderman 3. Those were three extremely excited people leaving the house. Ella just went down for a nap, so I have possibly two hours of ME time. Whoa (said in Joey from Blossom's voice)... Even if there's still one child in the house I need to care for once she's awake, I haven't had a quiet, empty house like this in such a long time. I don't even remember when that was, to be honest. So I'm going to force myself not to do one bit of work, even though it's very tempting to get a start on my semi-annual reports for LLL. I'm going to sit at the computer and surf to my heart's content. I'm going to sit and read my dirty-little-secret-of-a-magazine. I'm going to think only of me for now, okay?

Last evening Chloe and Alexia came over again, and we had to leave almost right away to get Chloe to the soccer tournament she was playing in. While Chloe played, Ella and I hung out on the sidelines, and Accalia, Cole and Alexia ran around nearby. They spent most of their time collecting pine cones, so I brought my backpack home filled with pine-scented goodness.

All of the kids were exhausted by the end of the evening, but Ella was the only one who fell asleep relatively quickly. Accalia, Cole and I didn't get to bed until around 11:30. Accalia and I have been reading Pippi Longstocking before bed, and last night Cole hung out with us while we did that. I haven't read that book since I was a little girl, but it's amazing how familiar all of it is to me. Accalia adores Pippi.



I tried to sneak out of bed at 7 this morning, but Ella and Cole were up with me (much too early for either of them. Cole was just a tired, emotional mess and spent around an hour crying on and off about me going to the LLL meeting and him missing me. We talked about him coming to the meeting with me, having Jadon at the meeting, too, but he was excited about having Jadon at our house. He just didn't want to be sad and miss me and cry. So we talked about what and who I miss and what we can do when we miss someone or something. Most important, I just let him know I knew he didn't want to miss me and that it might make him sad.

After a while, Cole just wiped his face, asked how long I would be gone and went about his business. When I returned from the meeting (me, my friend Michelle, a newcomer, and at the end a nearby Leader), Cole greeted me at the door with "I didn't miss you at all, Mom!" Ah, isn't that nice to hear? I think he conquered a bit of a fear he was having about being apart from me, so he was without a doubt ready to see Spiderman 3 this afternoon.

Now I shall go about my ME business and look forward to cuddling with this litle sweetie in the not too distant future.

There's my girl minutes after leaving the site of her dance recital. She was happy to be outside knowing our next stop was McDonalds.

Every parent talks about how much their children change, and often those changes seem so insignificant to others that they aren't even noticed.

Accalia, perhaps due in part to hanging out with the slightly-older-than-her neighborhood girls, seems to be developing more and more of an interest in primping. She's also started taking showers rather than baths. She has a particular interest in deodorant and asked me to buy her some deodorant that smells (which I did). That led to a short discussion about why people use deodorant, puberty, etc. Accalia was very excited about the prospect of all of these changes to her body.

Cole is one huge emotion most of the time. He very easily becomes upset (I wanted to get to the van first, Mom! Accalia got to the van first! I wasn't first) and spends a lot of time talking about things that have happened or asking me about things that have happened. He also doesn't want to be separated from me at all. I can't go anywhere - even a quick trip to the post office - without Cole insisting on accompanying me. Cole isn't sure he wants to see Spiderman 3 tomorrow with Cory and Accalia because he doesn't want me to be at home. He also isn't convinced that he'll be able to stay at home tomorrow while I'm at LLL even though his friends Jadon and Sarah are coming over.

Ella continues to develop quite the sense of humor. Earlier today I was trying to type something on the computer, and every time I would take my hand off of the mouse she would grab the mouse and start clicking around, hysterically laughing. She also appears to be a rightie, and at this age we knew both Accalia and Cole were going to be lefties.

Hi! I'll be here again soon!

Great news! I can access my old blog again, so if you want to keep reading just click here. I'll update y'all on what's been happening the past few days.

We're back from the store and everyone is happy and content. Still hoping it'll be an early night for both kids, though. The way it's worked out this summer is that Accalia has three days where her activities begin by 9:30 a.m. or 10 a.m., and it's not especially fun for any of us that we can't just have leisurely mornings. Thankfully it's not something that we have to do every day or even beyond the summer. I seem to be becoming more and more of a night person. I don't go to bed particularly late (some nights between 11 and midnight) or sleep in (usually up by 7:30), but I've found that I prefer to do things at night if I'm not too exhausted. That started when Cole was a baby, I think, and I had nights where he wasn't in the mood to go to sleep particularly early and definitely wouldn't fall asleep if we were sitting down and nursing. He had to be moving in the sling, so I had to come up with things to do to keep me from going bonkers walking back and forth, back and forth. We'll see what the newest little one is like.

A few years ago the La Leche League Area I live in (Minnesota and the Dakotas) started providing $50 worth of continuing education to each Leader. I've usually put it toward reference books or conference attendance. This year I put it toward printed resources for myself. I ordered (from the LLL catalogue) Whole Foods For The Whole Family, Whole Foods From The Whole World (both cookbooks - the first I already have for the Group library) as well as Sheila Humphrey's The Nursing Mother's Herbal.Sheila has been a Leader in my Area for years, and I'm so pleased to finally have a copy of her book for myself.

Speaking of books, I can't recommend Ina May Gaskin's Ina May's Guide To Childbirth highly enough. Reading her first book, Spiritual Midwifery, during my pregnancy with Cole was so inspiring. This is just the same, only better.

Before the section of birth stories, Ina May writes about how the trend in the United States seems to be to share scary and gory birth stories with pregnant women, leaving many women thinking that birth could never be a positive experience. I love what she writes here:

"Now that birth has become a favorite subject of television dramas and situation comedies, this trend has been even more pronounced. No one has explained the situation more succinctly than Stephen King in his novella 'The Breathing Method.' Commenting on the fear many women have of birth, his fictional character observes, 'Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful-when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician-that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony.' King, you may not know, is the father of several children born at home."

That's so true. Of course childbirth will usually involve some amount of pain, but when you go into it knowing that your body is designed to give birth and isn't lacking, it's a completely different experience than being told you need x, y and z to give birth. I found out that difference with Accalia and Cole's births.

Both kids are rather out of sorts right now. Accalia wants to go to the store to see if they have a toy she saw yesterday, and Cole wants to stay home and play. Neither are in the mood to compromise, so we'd at a standstill right now. I think it's not helping that both kids are really worn out after our morning away. We went over to Hartington (about a half hour) for a LLL meeting, and they played in the hostess' backyard all morning.

Quick update: Cole has suddenly decided he wants to go to the store, so we're off. I'll finish what I wanted to write later.

At yesterday's prenatal visit I found out I've gained another 10 pounds. Yikes! That brings the pregnancy total to 28 pounds. Apparently this baby just wants Mommy to be very well cushioned by the time he or she is born. Nothing too exciting to report, though. Heartbeat was strong and steady at 144. Next month I'll take the glucose tolerance test and then start with bi-weekly visits rather than monthly. Dr. M. asked how I felt about taking the test, and I said that was fine. I didn't with Cole since my midwife just checked for sugar and protein and all of that stuff in the urine sample, but I really don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other.

This morning at storytime Cole and I were sitting at a table putting together puzzles. A little ways over there were two mothers talking - one nursing a newborn - and eventually their conversation came around to breastfeeding and formula. The nursing mother was quick to say that she already was using formula, too, and that soon led to horror stories about breastfeeding making your child too dependent and taking up so much time and how formula wasn't that expensive, etc. Conversations like that are very common around here, so I wasn't surprised to hear any of that. What really got me was when the nursing mother started saying how she just wouldn't want to be confined to the baby like that, and the other mother readily agreed. How sad! I will never understand how a mother can talk about her child like that. Don't get me wrong. I understand and often feel the need for solitude and to have a little time without small bodies surrounding you and climbing all over you. It makes me so sad, though, for both the mother and the child when the mother feels like the baby is some burden that she now has and that she has to find ways to get away. Honestly, what is the point of having children if one of your first priorities is to find as many ways to make the child the least dependent on you as possible? I guess that's what happens in a society that holds such value on independence and has convinced generations of parents that it's unnatural for a baby or young child to be dependent and that this is actually healthy.

Sometimes I think about what my life would be like if I didn't have children or worked outside of the home. I was just thinking about this today because I was looking at this book, which has always been one of my big historical interests. I can't remember now if I read her diary first or saw a play about her first. During my first two years of college, history had been my minor with print journalism as my major. Cory and I married the summer before my junior year, and I transferred to a university where there wasn't a print journalism major. There was just a general mass communication major that included radio, television, etc. - things I had no interest in spending my time or tuition money on. So I flipped around my major and my minor and had an absolute blast those last two years. If I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did (Accalia was planned), I would have gone on to get my master's in history. I had and still have no desire to teach, which is what many students who get master's in history do. I've always had some ideas going around in my head about what I would like to do, and perhaps one day I will.

History and writing have always been the two areas of greatest interest for me, where I really got it and wanted to continue with them whether or not it was for a grade. I had/have a particular interest in women's history, and I remember the BIG paper I had to write for one class (around 20 pages). Margaret Sanger was the subject I had picked, but I can't remember my exact thesis without looking at the paper. What I do remember is how frightened of that professor I was, but how after I completed my paper and turned it in to him, he told me, "I don't agree with your conclusion at all, but this is exactly how you write an historical paper."

I could probably sit here and type away memories all day at this point, but now I have a girl who wants help putting her pictures in her photo album and a boy who wants Spiderman books read to him.

Well, I tried to fix the comments thing and I managed to change it a bit. You can see the format is a bit off. That's what I get for trying to do it late at night when I have very little knowledge of this sort of thing, even with simple directions.

Accalia and I spent a good portion of the morning try to solve one of her Freddi Fish computer games. We did it!

Later this afternoon I have a prenatal appointment. I'll report anything exciting that occurs, although at 24 weeks it's pretty routine if all is going well.

It's a hot, muggy day, and the kids and I just got back from a walk around the neighborhood. Actually, they were riding in the old bike trailer we inherited from Cory's aunt. Good workout for me, though, pushing them up the incline a couple blocks away.

Our realtor called today. Ugh. Two problems with the house. The first is that the buyers have been unable to turn on the light in the kitchen and some in the dining room area. Since we didn't have electricity when we were preparing the house for closing, there's no way we could have known this. Hopefully they've checked to make sure they don't need new lightbulbs. I suggested that they check to see if they need new light switches since we never had to replace them.

The second is that apparently there's a flea infestation in the house thanks to the tenants' cats. That's so disgusting! They'll be treating it chemically, so we'll have to foot the bill for that, which I understand. I just hope we didn't bring home any fleas after being there!

About leaving comments...I know you can change your template on Blogger to leave comments, but it doesn't show up the same as it does on other blogs for me. I'm just not patient enough to mess around with the template to see what I need to change, but if you do want to leave or read comments just click on the # at the end of each post. That's the best I can do for now.

Yes, I'm back here again for the time being. I'm not sure what's going on with my other blog that I can't access the administrative stuff, but you know how it goes when you can't have something - that's when you really want it!

It's been a hot, hot weekend, and instead of hitting the pools or beaches like the majority of people around here we've been hiding out in air conditioning. Yesterday was my LLL meeting with the kids along since Cory made a day trip to Lake Wilson. It went well and made Accalia happy that one of the moms brought along her daughter that's a year or so older than Accalia. There were two moms at this meeting, and both inquired about leadership. One I had been planning to approach about it, so I was happy to hear that she was interested in it. The other mom has only been attending the Yankton Group for a couple months, so I'll need to observe her through an entire Series of meetings (four meetings) in order to get a better idea.

Last night Cory and I watched this movie, which we enjoyed. It was a pretty early night for both kids, so that was a bonus. Today we've been doing odds and ends - errands, some necessary household chores, etc. Nothing too exciting. I did make a solo trip to Goodwill to scope out the maternity clothes because (gulp) I'm starting to outgrow some of my current supply. Someone who donates clothes there seems to love maternity clothes from Target, and that's perfectly okay with me. I also managed to stock up on fall/winter clothes for the kids, so that was good.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys the change of scenery in my blog life for a while.

Oh, and Jessica, you just saw me at the family reunion! You don't need photographic evidence of my big belly!

I have a new blogging home thanks to my friend Sara. You can follow me here if you'd like.

My other blog is down right now, although hopefully it's only temporary. I have no idea if anyone checks here anymore, but that's okay. Sometimes it's just nice to blog for the sake of blogging.

Cory came home this afternoon from an overnight trip to visit his parents. His mom has changed so dramatically in just the week since we were there, and we don't expect her to live more than a few days at the most. Cory said she's lost even more weight and that her eyes are so tired and sunken. He also said her color was beginning to change. Mary is so, so tired and is ready to go. This is the hardest thing we've ever gone through as a family, and I know it's going to be even harder when she's actually gone.

While Mary didn't have breast cancer, there's a great fundraiser going on to support breast cancer research. Take a look here.

Tomorrow is Take Back Your Time Day. Take it easy, everyone, and take it slower and spend time doing the things that are really important with the people who are important to you.

Last night Cole was playing with wooden alphabet blocks. He brought one to me and said "dog" as he pointed to the letter "D." What a smartie.

Maybe I just needed to start blogging again - somewhere - in order for the blog gods to have pity on me. I can now post again at my Mamablogs blog and even have access to the templates again! Woo hoo! So follow me on over...

I could probably spend way too much time at this site finding out who has made contributions to which political party and how much they've made. For instance, I could look at prominent political figures here in South Dakota. Our esteemed governor, Michael Rounds, has donated $2,000 to Bush's campaign. No surprises there. Senator Daschle's wife, Linda, donated $2,000 to Dick Gephardt's campaign. John Abbott, who ran unsuccessfully against Governor Rounds as the Democratic candidate, donated $1,000 to Kerry's campaign.

This is possibly extremely boring to many of you out there, but I've become more and more interested in politics over the last couple years and just seem drawn to anything political lately. Thanks to Sandra for pointing it out.

It is so nice to wake up in the morning and blog a little. I've missed it! Of course, now I have yet another excuse to not get the things that I really should be doing done.

Speaking of which, once I get the three of us ready to go, I think we'll head out to a park. It's actually fairly cool this morning, so we'll take advantage of that while we can. It's a great day for a picnic, too, and once I find out some details, I think the family will be heading over to Hartington, NE, tonight for a picnic to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week.

Now I'm off to hobble around, make a phone call or two, and get us out of our pajamas.

Well, hello everyone! Long time no posts, huh? I'd say it's safe to say that my blogging frustration is at an all time high and has been for the past week or so. I'm still not able to post at my blog here, although I see the actual site is up and running once again. It just hit me a few minutes ago that I could go back to my original blog here at Blogger and do some temporary blogging, so that's what I'm doing!

Life hasn't been too out of the ordinary since I last wrote. We spent this past weekend in Mankato visiting friends and family. Cory and I actually went out to a movie in a movie theater, too! We haven't done that for about three years probably, which would make Accalia about Cole's age. We've seen movies at the drive in and rented a gazillion movies in the meantime, but we haven't gone to the theater. This time we saw I, Robot since Cory got to pick. It was an entertaining movie, so we had a really nice time. The kids had a blast with the grandparents, cousins and a pool.

This weekend we're heading to Lake Wilson to see Cory's family. The town is holding a benefit for his parents, so of course we want to be there. Cory's brother and family are making the trip, too, and I'm sure the kids will love to see their other set of cousins.

My obsession with Barenaked Ladies continues. If you know us well - especially if you know Cory - you'll understand why the music is so perfect for us. We had a very entertaining time watching this over the past week.

I have an appointment with a physical therapist tomorrow - my first ever. I've had trouble with my left knee for a few years now, but chiropractic adjustments have made a big difference. Last week, though, I was putting Cole in his carseat. I turned around to shut the van door and felt something pop or snap. It hurt a bit, but I was able to walk around the van and get in and drive us all to Wal-Mart. When I got out, though, I couldn't walk because it hurt so much, so Cole and I hung out in the van while Accalia and Cory did the shopping. By the time they were back, the pain was pretty much gone, but my knee definitely wasn't okay. So I made an appointment with my family practice doctor for the next day, squeezing it in before we left for Mankato. He took x-rays and couldn't see anything wrong with the bones and joints (we'd have to do an MRI to see any ligament damage) but thought that my knee cap just wasn't doing what it should be doing. So I have an appointment with a physical therapist to be evaluated and learn some exercises to strengthen my quadriceps. If that doesn't work, then I guess it's time for an MRI.

One last thing before I head to bed. I have had a very traumatic hair experience this week, and it hasn't been my hair. Accalia has had her hair all one length for the majority of the time she's had hair. I wanted that because I know what a pain it is to try to grow out bangs - something I've never had the patience to accomplish. At the start of the week, her hair was almost shoulder length. It was in great need of a trim, though, and Accalia decided she wanted it cut shorter, too. "Hair grows back, Mommy!" What a great sense of foreboding this child has, huh? So we went to a salon I've taken her to a couple times before, and I explained that Accalia wanted her hair shorter. The stylist started talking about making a bob, which was fine since Accalia's had a bob before and looks very cute. Well, the first thing she does with those scissors was cut a chunk off to make bangs. AARGH!!! I really had to keep from shrieking or at least loudly gasping. At this point, it was just too late, so I didn't say anything. Now Accalia has bangs and an extremely short bob. I wouldn't even call it a bob. She looks very impish and cute, but I'm still mourning the loss of her same-length hair.

Hopefully it won't be long before I have a new blog home set up. Feel free to spread the word of my temporary home!

Hello all! My new home is official! Come follow me here if you still want to read my ramblings.

How could I forget to share who my new host will be?

The times they are a changin'...

I'm going to move my blog to a different host. I've been seeing a lot of Moveable Type lately and really like it. Then Dawn posted this today, and I thought, "Why the heck not?"

Don't worry, dear readers, I'll take you with me for the move.

Yesterday we welcomed a new member to our family - a chest freezer. Woo hoo! Cory and I decided that would be our Christmas gift to each other. We've been living with just the freezer space available above our refrigerator, which doesn't leave us with much.

Today the kids and I drove up to Sioux Falls for an LLL enrichment meeting. My friend Sara was going to lead a program on holiday traditions, and she had some really neat ideas. Unfortunately, the only people who showed up were me, Sara, our friend Amy, and another Sioux Falls Leader. So Sara, Amy and I headed to McDonald's for lunch after our kids had their gift exchange. Accalia is absolutely delighted with her gift of a fashion plate design kit from Discovery Toys. I had something like that when I was little, and I could spend hours mixing and matching fabric swatches to come up with outfits. That's exactly what Accalia's doing right now.

We only spent a couple hours in Sioux Falls, though, because the weather is not supposed to be good today or tomorrow. It was mostly foggy and drizzly on the way up and back, and by the time we arrived home, it was apparently getting slippery in the area because of freezing rain. On the way home, we were coming up to a small cemetery by the side of the road. Two deer suddenly popped up along the shoulder, so I slowed almost to a stop since they were standing there and starting to inch towards the road. We got a really good look at them - much more beautiful than the one that Cory's cousin Tim posed with! - before I honked my horn. They turned, hopped the cemetery fence and were gone. "Look Mom, they're playing tag!" was Accalia's remark.

I have an eye appointment tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to get a sample of my contacts so I don't have to wait until my order arrives to wear them. I don't mind wearing my glasses, but I've been getting more headaches since I started wearing only glasses. Maybe this prescription is outdated, although it's the same as my contacts. It's probably just the way my eyes have to adjust to look out of them.

Cory talked with his mom today, and the unofficial word (meaning she's heard this from her hospice nurse and not directly from her oncologist) is that Mary is a good candidate for treatment. Woo hoo! I don't think it's even so much the fact that she's going to try chemo (I've been researching and am still up in the air whether chemo is always a beneficial thing) as it is that Mary's actually going to do something to try to beat this.

We went out for lunch today to the Fryn' Pan - think Perkins - and it was actually relaxing. It's not often that you can go out to eat with small children and say that. We ate a little later than usual, so both kids were probably starved. They sat and ate, and Cory and I actually had a nice conversation.

Cole didn't nap today until 5 p.m. Ugh. That doesn't bode well. Maybe he'll do what Accalia did when she started giving up naps (not that Cole is to that point yet) and fall asleep between 5 and 6 and not be up again until 7 a.m. or so. Wishing thinking, I'm sure.

I haven't written anything about Cory's mom recently because there's really nothing new to say. We still haven't heard what the doctors have said or recommended. Some days are better than others when we think about the future. I feel so helpless because there's not a lot I can do. I think we're going to visit them next weekend and then see them again on Christmas Day.

This morning one of the first things Accalia did was to stick a finger in her armpit. "Look Mom! It's soooo deep!" Apparently she'd never examined that particular part of her body much before. She was thrilled to discover that my armpit was deep as well.

Cory's cousin Tim is a really nice guy and I have absolutely nothing against him. I just wish he'd stop sending a Christmas picture of himself posing next to the carcass of a deer he shot. Second year in a row. I've continued on my mom's tradition of hanging the pictures we receive at Christmas on the kitchen cabinets so we see all of our loved years throughout the year. Staring into a deer's glassy eyes is just not something I want included.

The kids have been playing together so fabulously well. Yippee! I had business that involved a looooong phone call and they did so well not being too much of a distraction.

I finally had to make an appointment with an optometrist. Not sure why I kept putting it off since I'm not afeared of going, but I had no choice this morning when my final contact ripped. It's been more than two years, I think, since I've been to see anyone, so it's high time. Thankfully I was able to set up an appointment for this coming Monday. The bad news is that I only have my glasses to wear until I'm able to get new contacts. Ah well. Cory once told me I look a little like Tina Fey when I wear my glasses. Not very likely, but I've been told I look a little like Julia Roberts, too. At least I haven't been mistaken for Linda Tripp pre-face lift.

In January, I'll be taking an online class on vaccine dangers. The instructor - once a registered nurse and now a classical homeopath - also offers a class on the basics of homeopathy that I really want to take at some point. This is her website. The book that we'll be using is the latest edition of "The Vaccine Guide" by Randall Neustaedter. I have both editions of this book - 2002 and 1996 - and I'll be more than happy to send the 1996 edition to anyone who wants it. Email me by Monday (12/15) if you're interested, and I'll just throw everyone's name into a bowl and pick a winner!

This is huge news in South Dakota. I'll just say that I'm quite looking forward to the special election in June.

It's snowing and blowing today. We've only gotten a few inches of snow compared with closer to 10 inches in other areas near us. It's still not fun at all to be out or to drive around town. We went to dance class (visiting day for mommies, daddies and grandparents or whoever else), but I think that's all we'll be doing outside of the house. I have a couple errands to run, but they'll just have to wait.

Going to put Cole down for a nap now. Oh wait. I do have to go outside of the house and shovel. Shoot.

Cory just stopped home for a few minutes. He was in town giving a training session on something at the trustee unit. The kids were in the bathtub and very happy to see him. We went to the dollar store this morning in search of a "boy barbie" for Accalia. Didn't find one. We saw the midwife I had for Cole's pregnancy, though. That was really nice. I hadn't seen her since a few weeks after Cole's birth.

Accalia's been really into Advent calendars lately. We've been looking at a bunch online. She loves the ones that consist of a story. We have one here at home that's the Muppets doing their version of O. Henry's Gift of the Magi. LOL! It's the first thing she wants to do each morning, though, so it must be entertaining for her.

Still plodding along on the Christmas cards. I have to order more reprints. I think I'll mail off a stack tomorrow.

Have to turn over the computer to Accalia now.

Cory's back home and we're all very happy to have him home. I think he had a good but very emotionally exhausting weekend at his parents. He was able to talk with his mom about a lot of stuff, and while he's still very sad at the thought of losing her, he also feels a bit of peace because Mary appears to be at peace if she doesn't have much time left. I guess her oncologist is presenting her case to a board of 20 other doctors (not sure if this is the standard procedure) so they can all weigh in on treatment and how successful or unsuccessful it may be. Mary says right now that if the majority (and her doctor) feel she has a shot, then she'll go through with treatment. Obviously we're all praying for a positive report.

Accalia has just fallen asleep watching the Wizard of Oz. That was always such a big deal at our house when it made it's annual television appearance. My brothers and I would settle in to watch it and we'd always have Crackerjacks. I don't remember any other time of the year when we'd eat those.

This morning we were getting ready to take Lucy out, and I asked Accalia if she could get dressed while I nursed Cole. When I came back in the room a few minutes later she was still naked. Accalia saw me and immediately said, "I'm not dressed yet. I've been picking my nose!"

I am completely hopeless. Here it is just a little past 9 p.m. Cory's gone until tomorrow. Both kids are asleep. I have time to myself finally. What's the first thing I do? Vacuum. LOL! Now I'm completely stumped as to what to do next. Do I read? Where do I start on my pile of books and magazines waiting to be read? Do I watch a movie that I've been wanting to see for a while? Do I write? Do I try to clear out my inbox? Do I play the piano? Sheesh. I think I must need to get more me time on a regular basis in order to actually do anything. At least the living room and stairs look good :)

We're having a quiet afternoon here. This morning was pretty hectic. Even though my LLL meeting is at 10:30 a.m., we almost didn't make it on time between getting the three of us ready and making sure Lucy was walked. Since it's so cold out today, Lucy's walk consisted of going up and down the block really, really fast. Now, if Cole would actually wear a hat or mittens we might have gone farther. This evening's walk will probably be very similar.

The meeting went okay. There were four mothers there and the discussion was good. I felt more like a mother than a Leader, though, because I had both Cole and Accalia to take care of, but thankfully having a co-Leader helps in that respect. Maybe I'll be able to leave both Accalia and Cole home next month since I'll actually be leading that meeting.

Lucy came up to join us in bed at some point during the night. Actually, I think she was begging to go outside, but I fell back asleep before doing anything about it. At 5:30 a.m., though, she sat up and started breathing really loudly until I did get up and let her out. Cole happened to wake up a bit at that point, so it was another hour until we were both back asleep. Then we were up around 7:30 a.m.

I've been trying to make progress on Christmas cards. The reprints of the picture we're including arrived today, so that helped. The picture turned out pretty good, although Cole's a bit blurry - not too bad, though. It's very hard to get a picture of him actually sitting still.

I am exhausted. I didn't expect I'd have a quiet, relaxing evening since Accalia napped from 3-5, but it was a nice, fleeting thought. We went driving around looking at Christmas lights tonight and Cole fell asleep toward the end. "Cool!" I thought. "He'll either stay asleep when I bring him inside or nurse right back to sleep." Two hours later...

I was putting food on the table and told Accalia supper was ready if she was hungry. She looked around and asked (for the fifth time today) where Cory was. I once again explained he was staying with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend. She looked forlornly at Cory's usual chair, then suddenly perked up and said, "Let's make a new daddy!" We never actually got around to making a substitute daddy, but we both agreed it wouldn't be nearly as good as the real thing.

Cory got off work around 1 p.m. and left to spend the weekend with his parents. Mary was supposed to get out of the hospital yesterday, but they kept her one more night because the weather was bad. Myron stayed the night at the hospital, too. I don't know that Cory's parents know he's actually coming, but I think it's a good thing because they'd probably just tell him not to come because they don't want to inconvenience any of us. Cory's stopping on his way to do some grocery shopping. He'll be cooking for them this weekend. Mary won't be able to eat much of anything, I'm sure, but it'll be nice for his dad to have good meals.

So the kids and I will stay here and muddle through :) Tomorrow I have my LLL meeting, which should be interesting with both kids along. Other than that, our weekend is pretty open. There's supposed to be a holiday parade downtown tomorrow evening, but that's definitely something that depends on the weather.

Back to Cory's mom for a minute. On the treatment front, it sounds as if she's going to try something. I have no idea what that means, but it gives us hope that she wants to try to fight this now.

Accalia was watching Treasure Planet but has now fallen asleep. There goes my quiet evening to myself, huh? I hope she can catch up on her sleep now, though. She's been quite unpleasant to leave with these last few days. I probably have, too, and we're just feeding off of each other. Now if only Cole could nap at the same time...

Poor Cole. He does need a haircut. Maybe next weekend. He has a cut on his forehead and one on his chin. He's at that fun, awkward, clumsy stage where he wants to get to and in everything yet just isn't quite coordinated enough.

We had a pack of disposable diapers and I've put Cole in one for night the last week or so because he leaks through every night! Today, though, the covers that will hopefully solve the leakage arrived. I ordered two Bear Bottoms Soakers from
Nurture Mama. Owner Anne swears by them, and I'm quite excited to try them.

Cory talked with his brother last night. He's about 90% sure that Mary will be coming home today. Mark - Cory's brother - has to return home to work, and Cory plans to stay with his parents for the weekend. The kids and I would have come along, but we thought it best that all of the noise that goes along with grandchildren might not be best right now. It'll really give Cory and his mom a chance to talk about things. As of last night, Mary was saying that she didn't want to go through treatment. How do you even react to that? It's one thing to find out a loved one is seriously ill and another to hear that they don't want to do anything to get better. It's so hard to respect that when all you want is for them to fight as hard as they can to get better. I guess we just have to take it day by day and see what each tomorrow brings. And pray. Mary meets with the oncologist again on Jan. 5, so we shall see.

We just returned from a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few necessary and unnecessary things. Accalia had a HUGE meltdown in the checkout aisle. A lying on the floor, kicking her legs, flailing her arms, screaming sort of meltdown. I had no idea what triggered it either until we had left and she was screaming that she wanted to look at the toys. We usually do, but today it slipped my mind with both Cole and Accalia getting a bit on the cranky side towards the end. Oy. I had plenty of sympathetic people to help me out, though. There was a mom with one child behind me and she helped keep Accalia safe for a few minutes. I had two checkers helping load up my stuff, too. I don't want to repeat that for a while.

It's been a quiet day around here. It's rainy and gloomy. Other than going out for storytime this morning, we haven't done anything. Well, I guess we decorated our little Christmas tree, but that didn't take long.

I've been looking into glyconutrients and cancer (and just overall health), and it's something I plan to talk with Cory about and talk with his parents about, too. I know several people who take them and also sell them, and I've read articles in everything from MIT's Technology Review to Scientific America about this general topic. It can't hurt to talk with them, but I'm scared Mary will reject any treatment options - whether standard such as chemo or not quite common as glyconutrients. I just don't know their mindset about something like this. It's expensive, too, but I would think cost would be one of the last things on anyone's mind when it comes to saving a life (although obviously cost has prohibited people from seeking treatment before). So we shall see.

Accalia's really been into Harold and the Purple Crayon for a couple weeks now. It reminded me a bit of The Matrix when I started reading those books to her.

Cory's dad called last night with more definitive news, most of which was positive. The doctors now say the cancer started on the ovaries. They also found cancer on the appendix, stomach, pancreas and liver. They removed Mary's ovaries and appendix in her Thanksgiving Day surgery, and the pathology reports show that the cancer was ON them and not IN them. That's terrific news as far as we're concerned. If the cancer started on the ovaries and had not yet gotten in them, we're praying that the same holds true for the other organs the cancer has been found on.

Aside from praying, Cory and I have also been doing a lot of visualization. I've been visualizing the cancer as this gray spider web coating Mary's organs, and I see it peeling back from the organs and curling up into a ball and disappearing. If her cancer is like a spider web and hasn't had a chance to invade her organs yet, then it feels like she has such a better chance.

The only scary news for us last night was that Mary was once again saying she didn't think she wanted to fight this. Cory's dad didn't sound too worried about her being serious, so we're hoping she's just trying to process it all and will realize that everything sounds so much more positive than it did last Thursday. I think she's frustrated with it taking so long to heal from the surgery, but since she's never had such a major surgery before she just didn't realize that it might take more than a few days to regain any part of her strength.

I think it was yesterday that Mary had her final tubes removed - the catheter and the nasal gastric tube. She's been up walking five times and up an additional 2-3 times more to use the bathroom. She was even able to try a few clear liquids yesterday.

It's still such a roller coaster for us. We're trying to get back into something of a routine and carry on with all of the normalities of life. Then we'll be in the middle of something and have a panic attack thinking "Oh my God! Mary has cancer. She may not make it." I haven't quite figured out how I'm supposed to feel. Should I feel guilty that I was able to sit and enjoy reading the newspaper yesterday? Or should I feel glad that I'm able to escape from the worrying and sadness for a bit? I've been so cranky with the kids, and I feel just awful about it. I think I've just been trying to hold it all together while we were at the hospital and I was keeping the kids content, and then we get home and I end up releasing all of my stress on the poor kids.

Yesterday we put up a few Christmas decorations, and I ordered reprints for the picture we're sending out with our cards. Usually Cory writes a letter to include with our cards, too, but this year it just isn't going to happen.

Cole's falling asleep nursing right now. I guess that means he'll be full of energy for story time at the library. We usually head over to my co-Leader's house today, too, but I don't know that we'll get that done. I'll have to see what the kids are feeling like. I need to talk with her since there's the possibility I won't be at the La Leche League meeting on Saturday. We may be heading to be with Cory's parents - Mary is supposed to get out of the hospital Thursday or Friday - but we probably won't know until right before we can leave. Cory's dad said he was afraid Mary would feel obligated to be with Accalia and Cole and entertain them. That's the last thing we want to happen, so we may just wait until the next weekend to visit.

The oncologist had said he wanted to meet with the family yesterday in order to discuss test results and treatment options. Well, we waited all day to meet with him and he never appeared. Cory, the kids and I finally left around 5:30 because everyone was hungry and the kids were very close to the end of their incredible patience. Cory's brother called later that night and said the oncologist finally made it up on the floor around 7 p.m., but they don't know that he ever made it to Mary's room. Cory's dad is diabetic and had to get somewhere to eat.

So I'm waiting for a call today from Cory who's supposed to be getting a call from his brother or dad after hopefully meeting with the oncologist today.

The surgeon said Mary is recovering quite well from the surgery. Mary's biggest and probably only pain right now is from her incision. She's getting up about four times a day to walk. It's kind of funny because she's still so tired and just wants to rest, so she tries to get her walking in right away so they won't bother her. I think she's definitely tiring of all of the interruptions that happen during a hospital stay. She's also rather frustrated because she still feels so tired. I'm not sure if she thinks she's supposed to be up and running around less than a week after major surgery, but apparently she's a bit impatient :)

Cory went back to work today, and the kids and I are going to try to take care of a few things at home. Hopefully we'll start getting Christmas decorations up since Accalia will be so excited about that. We're leaving in a few minutes to mail a couple packages to my two cousins who are serving in Iraq.