The neighbor girls are back today, so all is right with Accalia and Cole's worlds. Personally, I was doing fine without their constant presence, but Accalia and Cole missed having them to play with each day. I wonder if it will be this hard for them when school starts or if, since they'll know the girls will be back at a certain time, that they'll be able to relax and focus on other things instead of just waiting for their mom's SUV to appear.

The hardest part (at least for me) when they return from being gone a few days is how demanding they are as playmates. Rather than missing their own house and own things, they seem to miss everything of ours that much more. It works out fine when they're able to come inside and play, but there are times like tonight when it just doesn't work. They rang the doorbell and all were happy playing outside for a few minutes. But, as soon as Ella showed she was ready to fall asleep, they were at the door asking to come inside. When I explained that Ella was trying to fall asleep and they wouldn't be able to come inside right now, the youngest instead stood at the back door directing Cole to bring out certain things. She wasn't satisfied with anything he was bringing, though, and this was keeping Ella from falling asleep. We finally got everything straightened out - all playing outside happily and Ella asleep - but it seemed to take forever.

The weekend has been a pretty ordinary weekend. Accalia was thrilled yesterday when her new Build-A-Bear Workshop friend, a dog named Sunshine, arrived. She used some of her birthday money to create her online. I thought maybe she wouldn't be as happy as when she was able to go to an actual store to do it, but she was beyond excited. At one point yesterday she told me that she thought her and Sunshine even looked a little alike.

I continue to struggle with feeling just not satisfied or settled or something. I don't know exactly what it is. It might just be knowing the baby could be here in less than two months and knowing there are so many things I want and need to get done. Maybe it's a sign that I'd like to start nesting, but that feels almost impossible right now. Warm summer days where everyone is running in and out and wanting to go all over to do all sorts of things just isn't very conducive to settling in to do things. It also really does seem to make a difference to be preparing for a baby with three children rather than just two. I didn't think it would, but it really does affect how much time you can spend focusing on the new arrival and getting into that place mentally and physically to do so. Maybe this is just my way of freaking out. I'm not freaked out about going through labor again - that really has barely registered in my mind - but maybe there's a part of me that's really worried that I won't be able to manage with four children.

On a less anxiety-ridden subject, I'm really enjoying the current issue of Mothering Magazine. I think I stopped subscribing around the time that Ella was born simply because I just wasn't finding the time to keep up with it, but I picked up the current issue because Ani DiFranco is on the cover and I love her. Gosh, I miss reading this magazine on a regular basis. Anyway, there's a great article titled "Mommy Rituals" that has all of these ideas on how to center yourself and bring back the joy and mindfulness to everyday life. That's definitely come at a needed time. It's too bad that article isn't up on the Mothering website yet, but hopefully it will be once there's a new issue.

Okay, I need to start doing something around the house. So many things to do.