One of the reasons our weekend with Cory's family wasn't that great was because we had to watch Cory's brother and his three children interact. It just made me so, so sad. They aren't happy or loving half of the time. I got the impression from Cory's brother that parenting was a big hassle and drag and that his purpose as a parent was to constantly nag and correct the kids. Sample conversation between Cory's brother and his daughter:
(Mariah (age 9) was in the kitchen with Cory's mom getting some jello she made earlier)

Mark: Mariah, what are you doing?

Mariah: I'm getting some jello.

Mark: What are you supposed to do?

Mariah: (talking to Cory's mom) I know what he's getting at.

Mark: Mariah, you have to ask Grandma if you can eat that jello.

Mary: Oh don't be silly! She asked if she could make some this morning, so of course she can eat it!

Mark: No, that's not okay. She has to ask if she can eat it, too.

Now what did that accomplish? Did Mark get to have his little power trip as a parent? I just know this is how they interact most of the time at home. I'd hate to be living like that! I know the days when Accalia and I aren't getting along very well just feel miserable. My bad mood turns into her bad mood and vice versa. I don't want my life with children to be full of "Do this. Do that" I once heard someone talk about how they didn't want their relationship with their kids to be as a gate keeper. They want to be a guide, a mentor. That's exactly how I feel.

Our house doesn't come with a long list of rules. Basically we have two rules: You can't do anything that hurts someone and Show the respect for others that you want shown for yourself. We've found other rules to be unnecessary. We don't have bedtimes. Accalia goes to bed when she's tired. Some nights it's later than others, and some nights it's earlier. Just because Accalia is 3 doesn't mean she doesn't know when her body is tired and needs sleep. We don't have food restrictions (and Accalia has no allergies or sensitivities that would require any). Talk about a way to set her up for a lifetime of food issues! When kids are allowed to choose what they want to eat when they want to eat, they really do eat a decent diet. Yes, Accalia has gotten cravings and overindulged like anyone else. One time we bought a 12-pack of banana popsicles and she ate all of them in less than two days. That's a rather extreme example for Accalia's eating habits, but she got that desire for banana popsicles out of her system and hasn't asked for them since. She usually asks for a real banana anyway.

I just think that too many childrens' lives are filled with so many "Don'ts" that they never get to discover all of the "Do's". How many times do you hear a parent say "Don't splash in the mud puddle" instead of "Let's feel how neat that mushy, smooshy mud and water feels between our toes!" This is something else I strive for every day - to keep those nagging "nos" from being voiced and giving Accalia every chance to grow up in freedom and discover all that's around her.