Cory went upstairs with Accalia a little bit ago to read stories and hopefully go to sleep. Earlier in the evening Accalia had actually gone upstairs all by herself, crawled into bed and fallen asleep. She woke up coughing, though, and had a second wind.

So Cole and I sat downstairs and I stripped him down completely and held him close to me, hoping he'd want to nurse. He didn't, but feeling his soft, smooth skin next to mine brought back memories of when I first held him as I stood by the end of our couch where he was born. I remember I was trembling from the sheer exhilaration of birthing him, of the power that I had just expended, of the energy that had entered the room with his birth. I was completely there. With Accalia's birth in the hospital I felt more like a bystander, asking if it was okay to do this or that, needing permission to do what comes most naturally to women.

I gave Cole a massage, too, while we sat down in the living room and realized I do that much too infrequently. Considering how much he moves his arms and legs, I'm sure a massage felt so good on those sore, active muscles.

Oy. Today was starting out like most of yesterday progressed with Accalia and I just not getting along. Then my friend Amy emailed me this and it totally changed my attitude and made me feel so, so good:

"And, while I'm thinking of things to tell you before I forget...I was
reading your blog the other day and I read the stuff about the spilled milk
and mud puddles and all that and it really hit home so thanks for writing
about it. In fact, when we went to the grocery store on Tuesday...Zachary
was stomping through some slushy snow and
I started to tell him to stop, but then I thought of your blog and instead I
asked if he was having fun!! And, of course, he said yes so I said something
about how it is fun to stomp and splash in the slush and could I try to? He
thought that was a great idea so I stomped a few times and then we got in
the car and came home. It was fun!! I was so glad I remembered what you'd
written and that I actually applied it! Thanks! =)"

Now that brought tears to my eyes and, as I told Amy, helped me kick myself in the butt to get out of this bad mood. I'm not totally there yet but much improved.

I also realized that besides the fact the two of us are developing colds, perhaps not having left the house since Tuesday was playing a role in our moods. So we got dressed - Accalia in her velvety, sparkly Christmas present dress from Grandma and Grandpa Nelson with pink and blue print pants, turquoise socks and black chunky books - and took our favorite drive a couple times over the Meridian Bridge and then had lunch at Subway.

Cory should be coming home earlier today and then we're all going to our wonderful, wonderful chiropractor to be adjusted. I really need it!

This has been a rather horrid day, one of those days where Accalia and I don't get along well at all. How can you not get along with a three year old? That just sounds awful! This morning when Accalia asked me to make her chocolate milk - she doesn't drink milk but likes to mix them together - I apologized for being so cranky with her. I asked her if it made her mad when I was cranky and she said yes. So then I told her she should be mad at me when I'm cranky.

I was just outside because Lucy was barking at someone walking in our neighbor's backyard. Lucy barked maybe 3 or 4 times and stopped as soon as I came out and told her no. As I was standing there, a snowball came flying from where the man had last been and almost hit Lucy. Lucy wasn't upset about that - just curious. Now there aren't any young kids living next door - just very immature adults apparently. That really pissed me off! I told Lucy to come and then said in a very loud voice "Good girl for not barking when that man threw the snowball at you. That was a really rude thing to do." Lucy was happy because I gave her a treat after that.

One thing I knew I wouldn't like about moving back to our house in Yankton were the neighbors on that side. I think there are just two people living there - a woman most likely in her 80s who we've maybe said a dozen word to and her son, either in his 40s or 50s, apparently unemployed and definitely a drunk. Now he annoys me to no end and has always been mean to Lucy. I know he's thrown things at her before or tried to - being a drunk doesn't exactly enhance your throwing ability. He also tends to yell at Lucy if she barks when he walks by. Yeah, being aggressive towards dogs really gives them that warm, cuddly, let-me-lick-your-face feeling. Lucy - as with most animals - is very good at knowing who likes her and who doesn't.

I'm finding so many goodies on my homebirth list that I want to pass along to you! You have to check out this website if you love to read birth stories: The Birth of Grey Forest Walt It's so amazingly powerful to read, and I just love the idea of birthing outdoors. I doubt that'll ever happen for me, but it's still nice to think about :)

I realized today that one of the things I really miss from having just one child is the opportunity (or maybe ability) to be able to analyze and individualize every little thing you do or your child does. I was thinking about this today while I was picking up Accalia's clothes from one of her 250 daily wardrobe changes and thinking back to how much I loved being able to organize her clothes or buy her a new outfit and just put a lot of thought into what she was going to wear. I remember that dressing her was such a highlight when she was a baby! Then I put some of Cole's clothes away and realized I probably wouldn't remember half of the stuff he has and that I just want him to be dressed but don't really put much thought into it.

Now the clothes is just one example - and a pretty superficial one at that - but it just got me to thinking about how I could think about every tiny little interaction with Accalia and really concentrate on it and heck, probably write a 25 page paper about it :) But now it seems that as long as I make it through the day and we've mostly had a fun, positive and loving day that it's good. Of course it's good, but sometimes I just miss being able to think about it all so much - if that makes any sense.

Obviously the more kids you have the less time you have to sit and expound on every little goo and gaa. But I don't think that means your day has to turn into a blur and you have trouble remembering what happened. Sometimes I look down at Cole and am completely shocked that he's almost 5 months! This is just a good reminder for me to practice more mindful parenting and to live in the moment. Which leads me to a book plug: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn.

Cool site! Bembo's Zoo Accalia really, really enjoyed it. It was the website for the day from this list I belong to: ClickSchooling

I really think I understand the meaning of the phrase "tired to the bone". I've felt that way much more often since Cole was born than ever before. Parenting is tough work! So different from being tired from work or school. I remember being exhausted from those but knowing I could come home and relax. Doesn't quite happen as a parent. You're on duty constantly. There have been so many times when I feel so exhausted that I can't go on (and it's 9 a.m. LOL), but I do anyway. That's the cool thing about parenting. You adjust to that. I remember when I was pregnant with Accalia and tired and starving after a big grocery shopping trip. I thought, "Right now I don't think I can do anything except eat and sit down! How am I going to do this when I have a baby in my arms, too?" Well, I've done it! And how do I keep doing? Well, obviously you adjust to putting one or two or more people ahead of yourself and then you have no choice but to care for your children.

But the biggest reason I can keep going even when I feel as if I'm stretched to the limit and can't go on is because of the incredible love and desire to do all I can for Accalia and Cole. Tonight I was in the kitchen with Cory, Accalia was upstairs doing something and Cole was checking everything out in the sling. I looked down, saw his perfect face with those chubby, rosy cheeks, smelled his milky breath and felt that overwhelming surge of mothering, of love, of "I can do anything for my children".

Now, if I was really smart I'd be in bed resting up for another day instead of sitting at the computer. It's these nights when everyone else is asleep and I get some time to myself that I get a chance to renew my energy. But it's off to bed now!

We finally made it to the grocery store last night to stock up on much needed foods. I also made sure we had a few things to use for making baked goods. One of Accalia's favorite activities lately is "making something", which means cookies, muffins, pie, basically anything that she gets to pour or mix. So today we made cupcakes. Accalia especially loves cupcakes because she gets to put all of the paper baking cups in the muffin tin. We would have been able to make more than a dozen cupcakes, but Accalia used the left over batter to create her own special mix of chocolate cupcake batter and syrup. Yummy! Now we're just waiting for the cupcakes to cool so we can frost them.

One of the reasons our weekend with Cory's family wasn't that great was because we had to watch Cory's brother and his three children interact. It just made me so, so sad. They aren't happy or loving half of the time. I got the impression from Cory's brother that parenting was a big hassle and drag and that his purpose as a parent was to constantly nag and correct the kids. Sample conversation between Cory's brother and his daughter:
(Mariah (age 9) was in the kitchen with Cory's mom getting some jello she made earlier)

Mark: Mariah, what are you doing?

Mariah: I'm getting some jello.

Mark: What are you supposed to do?

Mariah: (talking to Cory's mom) I know what he's getting at.

Mark: Mariah, you have to ask Grandma if you can eat that jello.

Mary: Oh don't be silly! She asked if she could make some this morning, so of course she can eat it!

Mark: No, that's not okay. She has to ask if she can eat it, too.

Now what did that accomplish? Did Mark get to have his little power trip as a parent? I just know this is how they interact most of the time at home. I'd hate to be living like that! I know the days when Accalia and I aren't getting along very well just feel miserable. My bad mood turns into her bad mood and vice versa. I don't want my life with children to be full of "Do this. Do that" I once heard someone talk about how they didn't want their relationship with their kids to be as a gate keeper. They want to be a guide, a mentor. That's exactly how I feel.

Our house doesn't come with a long list of rules. Basically we have two rules: You can't do anything that hurts someone and Show the respect for others that you want shown for yourself. We've found other rules to be unnecessary. We don't have bedtimes. Accalia goes to bed when she's tired. Some nights it's later than others, and some nights it's earlier. Just because Accalia is 3 doesn't mean she doesn't know when her body is tired and needs sleep. We don't have food restrictions (and Accalia has no allergies or sensitivities that would require any). Talk about a way to set her up for a lifetime of food issues! When kids are allowed to choose what they want to eat when they want to eat, they really do eat a decent diet. Yes, Accalia has gotten cravings and overindulged like anyone else. One time we bought a 12-pack of banana popsicles and she ate all of them in less than two days. That's a rather extreme example for Accalia's eating habits, but she got that desire for banana popsicles out of her system and hasn't asked for them since. She usually asks for a real banana anyway.

I just think that too many childrens' lives are filled with so many "Don'ts" that they never get to discover all of the "Do's". How many times do you hear a parent say "Don't splash in the mud puddle" instead of "Let's feel how neat that mushy, smooshy mud and water feels between our toes!" This is something else I strive for every day - to keep those nagging "nos" from being voiced and giving Accalia every chance to grow up in freedom and discover all that's around her.

Someone on my homebirth list just posted a link to a new company that does home parties (think Discovery Toys, Pampered Chef) for ap and natural parenting-oriented products like slings, breastfeeding accessories, cloth diapers, etc. It's called Unique Baby Boutique. How cool is that?

Back home and so happy to be here! Lots of ups and down this weekend. I won't get into all of the downs yet, but I'll start you off with an up!

Cory's dad loves to ice fish at the small lake on the outskirts of down. So on Saturday, with the temp being in the single digits, he went out with four grandchildren and his two sons to gather in his little ice house for a while. That included Accalia and Cory. I, being sane, stayed at the house with Cole and my mother in law. Accalia and Cory didn't stay out very long - 20 minutes maybe - but Accalia came home so excited. Cory carried her in the door, and she was shouting "I caught a fish!" Apparently, since the fish weren't biting and Accalia wasn't paying much attention to what was being used as bait (minnows), Cory reeled up the fishing line with the minnow and that's how Accalia caughter her first fish. She was extremely excited. Her cousin Chandler caught a small perch, and that was it for the haul. Cory took pictures of it all, so hopefully those turn out.

I do have some ethical quandries with fishing and hunting for purely recreational purposes, and frankly I have no desire to do either. I feel like such a hyprocite, though, as a meat eater. But that could be a whole other post.

We're leaving at some point today to spend the weekend with Cory's parents in the bustling metropolis of Lake Wilson, MN (pop. nearly 300). Cory's walking the dog right now and I'm just patiently waiting for him to get back so that he can hold the sleeping babe while I shower (Cole will wake up instantly if I put him down). When he was coming down the stairs, I said "Hurry up! I'm drowning in my own stink!" Not really, of course, but I like to add a dramatic flair to our lives every once in a while.

Has anyone ever told you that you resemble a celebrity? I've been told a number of times by people I know and people I don't that I resemble Julia Roberts. Now, anyone who knows what I look like is probably rolling around on the floor trying to catch their breath from laughing so hard. Yes, Julia and I are both female and both about the same height and weight. That's where the similarities end. Most people who say I look similar to J.R. comment on the smile. Maybe. My favorite J.R. moment was when I was working at the newspaper in Yankton before Accalia was born. I was talking with an artist from New York who was displaying her work at the gallery on the campus of the college in town. Out of the blue, this woman says, "You look a lot like Julia Roberts. I've seen her in person." LOL! There are definitely people out there I wouldn't want to have a resemblance to, so I'll be happy with the misguided eyes of some people in this world.

I do miss being able to sit down at the piano and play to my heart's content. I remember when I was pregnant with Accalia I daydreamed about putting the baby down on a blanket and I would play the piano and entertain her, soothe her, etc. Well, that never happened because Accalia didn't want to be put down! That's much more likely to happen with Cole since he likes to be put down and kick around and try to crawl for a bit. But to have the chance to sit down at the piano with my hands and arms free to play? Nah!

Here's what it's usually like. Accalia loves the music from the Nutcracker, so that's what she requests of me. So I sit with Cole in my lap (and now he tries to play along) with Accalia sitting by me and trying to copy what I play. She's actually pretty good. She captures the spirit of the peace. If it's a fast, bouncy piece, she's hitting those staccato notes like a pro. If it's a dark, slow piece, then she's hunkered down over the keys making it moody.

I do really hope our kids have a love of music - talent optional :) I took piano lessons for about 12 years, so I'm fairly proficient. Cory tried his hand at guitar and played trumpet in the school band. So, we have a piano, a keyboard, a trumpet, a guitar and harmonica for Accalia to play around with. And she does. Drums aren't necessary since she'll turn anything into a drumset :)

And if anyone has ever been to our house, they've seen our collection of cds. Accalia loves to dance to just about anything. She went through a huge Dixie Chicks phase, and she loves it when Cory shows her how to headbang to Linkin Park. I'm not a singer, but both kids (when babies) just love(d) to hear me sing Nat King Cole.

There was always music in our house, too. You could gage my dad's mood by the music he had playing and whether he was singing along to it or not. His music of choice was either classic country or the oldies. And wouldn't you know it, I can recognize a ton of those songs.

I had one of those moments today of complete and utter satisfaction with my life. I had the realization that I have everything I want right now. I'm staying at home and with my two children every day, and I have an incredible husband who supports me in everything. Life is good!

Okay, I'm continuing on with the topic from the last post so that I don't turn it into too long a read for everyone. This afternoon we were up in Accalia and Cole's bedroom aka Clothes and Toy Storage Room (since there aren't actually any beds in that room), and Accalia took a purple marker from my box of stamping supplies and started drawing on the dresser, door, etc. When I saw it, I let out a suprised "No!", which at this point and with Accalia's state of fatigue was enough to send her screaming down the stairs. Big sigh. So I told her she could help me clean up the marker or take a nap (No nap yet, by the way).

I suppose if I would have been able to handle the situation the way I wanted to, I would have said, "Accalia, what a magnificent purple masterpiece you've drawn! Why don't we admire it for a minute before we clean it up?" Then we would have proceeded to find our art supplies to continuing drawing on more appropriate surfaces, right? That sounds so GOOD, like such a calm, decent, positive response. Now why can't I do that more often? I really have to think before I respond sometimes.

At least Accalia seems to have gotten over the marker incident. Now we're playing dress up with all of the ribbons and bows from the gift wrapping supplies.

Someone posted this on an AP list I belong to. I've printed it out and am keeping it someplace where I can see it often. Sometimes I just really need a reminder of how I should respond to Accalia!


Remember, We're Raising Children, Not Flowers!
By Jack Canfield

I recently heard a story from Stephen Glenn about a
famous research scientist who had made several very
important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed
by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was
able to be so much more creative than the average person.
What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an
experience with his mother that occurred when he was about
two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of
milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the
slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over
the kitchen floor - a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of
yelling at him, giving him a lecture or punishing him, she
said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have
made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk.
Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to
get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we
clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said,
"You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this,
eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything
to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that?
We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. Which do you
prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up
the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is
a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk
bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard
and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover
a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy
learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the
lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it.
What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at
that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to
make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just
opportunities for learning something new, which is, after
all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if
the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something
valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the
way Robert's mother responded to him?

Well, even though it was a very early start to yesterday, it turned out to be a really good day. It helped immensely that Accalia was in a wonderful mood. And the fact that both kids took a two hour nap at the same time added to it. I just sat in the recliner holding Cole in the sling and read and read. I haven't done that in ages! I'm currently reading Four Blind Mice by James Patterson. Cory hooked me on Patterson not long after we started dating. Patterson doesn't require a lot of heavy thinking with his books, so it's nice to have an easy read. Next I have to tackle my pile of magazines.

The especially great news yesterday is that I was offered the position of Associate Coordinator of Leader Accreditation (ACLA) for my area (South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota) of La Leche League It's a volunteer position - as LLL is composed mainly of volunteers - and a three year term. I'll be working with leader applicants and leaders through the leadership application process.

I was really excited and surprised to be offered the position since I've been a leader for just under a year and I haven't actually had a group to lead yet due to our moves and unsureness about staying here in Yankton. But apparently I impressed em anyway! My main focuses right now as a leader have been working with two leader applicants and answering weekly help forms that mothers submit through the LLL website. This will really be a great opportunity to do more for an organization that I believe strongly in.

The past two mornings I've been up and somewhat awake with either one or both of the kids before 6 a.m. Cory's on call this weekend, so he's been getting up to go into work around 5:30. Apparently Accalia and Cole have decided that's just too odd for a weekend so they need to be up, too. Yesterday it was Cole. At least he fell asleep again and I was able to get a little more sleep before Accalia woke up. Today it was Accalia and subsequently Cole, and Accalia's going full steam. At least she's in a great mood. And right now she's painting her nails bright pink.

Her painting her nails reminds me of when I was really little (single digits) and was completely clueless about beauty product. I still am, I guess, but not to the same extent. And now I know that wearing makeup isn't a prerequisite for being a woman. Anyway, I remember taking a bottle of my mom's nail polish and painting my eye lids - just like eye shadow, right? Ouch! Accalia has done anything like that, although she did use white out to paint her nails once.

Cory was watching the oddest thing last night. Guess that's what happens when you're tired and stressed out from a loooong week (and since he's on call this weekend it wasn't the end of his work week). Anyway, he was flipping through channels and stopped on the Discovery Channel where they had a documentary about competitive eating. From what I saw, it definitely looks like a male dominated sport (and they do consider it an athletic event), so I'll refer to the competitors as guys. These guys train for the events - the contests where people try to eat as many hot dogs, peppers, doughnuts, etc. as they can in a certain amount of time. One guy keeps in great physical shape by running 4 miles a day, and he works on stretching out his stomach by drinking 2 gallons of water a day. Apparently the big rivalry is between the U.S. and Japan, and the Japanese kick butt because they're so disciplined with their "training". LOL! The Japanese kid that won the hot dog eating contest by eating 50 (50!) hot dogs in 12 minutes was this skinny, tiny little thing. I can't imagine how much his stomach had to expand to do that! The whole thing was just bizarre, and apparently I paid more attention than I thought since I'm writing all of this. Okay, I think I need a hobby :)

We were gone all day to my friend Sara's house and we had a really good time. We hadn't seen each other in a couple months. I'm really, really tired now, though, and don't have the energy to write long, interesting observations about life. Hopefully tomorrow...

I just want to send out a big ole thank you to my cousin Rachel (I haven't decided whether I'm being sarcastic or not LOL). After a very nice phone conversation with her this morning and mention of the FlyLady, I have decided to give it a try - something I vowed I would never do. And do you know what spurred me to action? Rachel said her husband was bragging about FlyLady and the results at their house! Something that would cause Steve to brag about domesticated cleanliness really intrigues me, so here goes! I've made the beds, shined the kitchen sink and put on my shoes. And - I say this grudgingly - gosh darnit! I feel like I've accomplished something today!

I really, really think my children need a volume control this morning! I'm sure it doesn't help my patience and noise tolerance that my lower back is really bothering me and my chiropractor is closed today (weep, pity, sob). Accalia woke up way too early this morning and is in one of those "delicate" moods that requires her to be as contrary and loud as possible. And Cole is experimenting with his voice now. Guess what? He can make really, really loud, high pitched screeching sounds! Over and over again!

I'm thinking by the end of the day I'll either need a Calgon bath, a dark, quiet room or a strait jacket. LOL!

Accalia is an on again off again Dora the Explorer fan. She doesn't especially like to watch all of these shows, but she likes to play the online games. So Cory thought of a way to explain the whole stranger danger thing to her that would tie in with something we know she is familiar with and understands. On Dora, the "bad guy" is a fox named Swiper. They always have to watch out for him because - you guessed it! - he swipes things! So today I talked with Accalia again and explained that I was scared when she ran off because I thought somebody might "swipe" her, and we talked again comparing strangers and Swiper and what to do. Now I can just imagine Accalia yelling at the top of her lungs "Swiper no swipe!" when a stranger comes near her. Who knows how much has sunk in, but I think with any continuing dialogue something has to seep through.

Ah, the distractability of a four month old. I remember when Accalia was about four months and a friend and I were discussing how it was almost like having a newborn again in terms of feeling so tired. It's not so much that I'm losing sleep at night (Cole is an awesome sleeper and so much fun to snuggle with all night long). The big thing with this age is how distracted he is by everything and how he constantly wants to be in on the action and on the go. This wasn't a huge shock to me since I've been through it already when Accalia was an infant, but it still takes a bit of adjustment to go from holding a quiet, mostly sleeping baby to a wiggling, jumping, arms flailing, jabbering little boy.

And don't even think about having peaceful nursing sessions throughout the day! Everything is cause to turn this way and that and to concentrate on anything except the nipple. So finding a place free of distractions with a 3 year old, a dog - heck, even ceiling fans - is almost impossible. I know that old advice about finding a quiet, dark room with no distractions to nurse in (I've even given it myself), but that doesn't cut it with Cole. If we find a quiet place, he spends all of his time and energy turning this way and that to find something to distract him!

Oh, I know that this phase will soon pass (and there's something to love about every phase along with the minor frustrations) and then we'll soon be entering once again the world of toddler nursing aerobics.

Today we decided to go to Wal-Mart on the spur of the moment so that Accalia could check out their toys. She loves to fiddle with all of the electronic toys, and since we don't really have any at home, this is usually her only opportunity. Anyway, we were wandering through the toy department and I called to Accalia to come over and look at something. She yelled "No!" and ran. This is not something she's in the habit of doing. I did a sweep of the toy department and surrounding area and didn't see her anywhere, so I went to a nearby employee and asked for helping finding her.

This employee dropped what she was doing and immediately took me up front. On the way, she asked for a description and was scanning all of the aisles. When we got to Customer Service, the employee there immediately took her description and then made an announcement over the loudspeaker for a Code Adam with a description of Accalia. There were about a dozen employees around that I could see, and they all dropped what they were doing to search. Even the customers nearby took notice. About 10 seconds later, an employee came over with Accalia. She had seen Accalia running up to the cash registers, grab a candy treat and head to one of the ride on toys at the entrance. Accalia wasn't scared at all. She came up to me smiling, asked if she could have the treat and said she had been waiting. HUGE sigh of relief! I'm a calm person and wasn't panicking during this time, but I was SO, SO relieved to have Accalia safe and secure in the cart.

I was so impressed by the Wal-Mart employees. I know they take this Code Adam stuff seriously, but I was just really impressed by how quickly and smoothly they went into action. Of course if someone had intended to take Accalia, it may have been too late with how quickly she ran to the front of the store near the entrance.

After that, we had a talk about why it's not a good idea to run away from me or Cory in public, why I was scared (that someone would take her), and what to do if a stranger approaches you. We've talked about things like this before and I honestly don't know how much sinks in. I do know that Accalia understands and remembers a lot more than she lets on, but I wish I could just have her pinky swear to never do that again and to stay away from bad people! LOL!

So that was our eventful morning. So far the afternoon has been much less adrenaline packed.

A book I recently ordered came today! I just love, love, love books! No wonder we just bought another bookshelf. That's for Accalia's and Cole's books, though. Anyway, the book I received today is Romancing The Ordinary: A Year of Simple Splendor by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I've never read any of her other books such as "Simple Abundance", but her latest appealed to be for some particular reason at that particular time. Perhaps it's because I'm surrounded by children all day, and of course children are the ultimate at showing us how to love and appreciate the simple things around us. So maybe it's just something I'm more aware of at this point.

We went to the library this morning and picked up a big bag of books for Accalia once again. Accalia has rediscovered the Max and Ruby books by Rosemary Wells. So, along with reading most of the library's supply of that series, along with occasionally being up at 8 a.m. to catch the new series on Nick and having the companion computer games on Nick Jr., we have bunnies on the brain.

Cole, meanwhile, is ecstatic to see any book that has faces or people or any resemblance of either of those. Last night he was just enthralled and all drooly over "Wow! Babies!" by Penny Gentieu.

This quote was included in the latest issue of the e-newsletter Home Education Magazine has:

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

And in case anyone is wondering who the quoter is, H. Jackson Brown, Jr. is an author who is probably best known for his "Life's Little Instruction Book.

We've had a variety of family members staying with us since Wednesday night, so computer time has been limited more than usual. The house is nice and peaceful right now, though. Accalia fell asleep before 6 p.m., but she's done that before and been down for the night until 7 a.m. or later the next morning. She was up way too late playing with her cousin and got up way too early. And with no nap today that makes sense for her to crash. Cole just had a bath (loves the water!) and is sleeping peacefully in the sling curled up against me.

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There are some days where it seems Accalia is constantly requesting something, especially when I seem to be in the middle of something. And there are times when I think I'll go absolutely bonkers if I hear another question or request come out of her mouth at the time! Today I was thinking and having one of those paradigm shifts and realized how happy I am that she's always coming to me and asking me questions or asking me to do something for her or to play with her. I'd be so sad if those requests would stop coming because that would probably mean Accalia has given up thinking I'm going to help her meet whatever need it is she has. Kind of like babies who are left to cry it out and their parents are so happy because they think they've trained their babies to sleep. And those poor little souls have just given up hope that they're going to be comforted when they call.

Cory and I are going through our old cds and picking out some where we just like a song or two on the cd and then ripping and burning those songs onto one cd. Ooh, our home sounds so violent, doesn't it? Anyway, I found my Sophie B. Hawkins cd - who's that? you may be asking - and was listening to the only song on there I really like: "As I Lay Me Down". I was trying to convince Cory that during the chorus when there are background singers in addition, they're singing "I love tacos" over and over. Cory just looked at me and said "They're singing 'da,da, da, da'." Sheesh, no imagination!

Here's a smart idea: if you want a peaceful night's sleep (or at least as peaceful as it gets with a 3 1/2 yo and a 4 month old) make sure to change the batteries in your smoke detector before they get bad enough to start chirping on and off all night. The good thing about this is that it reminded me we need to buy a fire ladder with that gift certificate we got for Christmas (our bedroom is on the second floor of our house).

I'm so excited to see the first issue of this magazine put out by a single, wahm: Pandora's Box Okay, so I have a bit of personal involvement, too. In the second issue that comes out in May (I think), Cole's birth story is going to be published. He was an unassisted homebirth, and that's one of the topics of this magazine.

This morning Accalia needed to do a little nude interpretive dance to get the blood flowing. Those tapes from Brighter Vision Learning Adventures have been such a hit with her. I don't know exactly how we stumbled across this company, but I signed up to get the free initial shipment sometime after Accalia was a year old, and she's loved them ever since.

With S&H, they cost about $17, and one is sent each month. Each month there's a theme, and this month's is about our bodies and how they move. There's always a hardcover book, a workbook, a craft, a game, stickers and maybe one other thing. So this time she got a book about how our bones and muscles and joints work, a corresponding workbook, a craft to make stick puppets, a growth chart and a dominos game. The craft is usually the thing she goes for first. Then sometimes she wants to play the game or read the book right after that. She likes me to read the workbooks to her but could care less about tracing letters and other things the company has deemed age appropriate. Her packages were "upgraded" when she turned 3, so she no longer receives a music tape. And the workbooks used to have stickers to put on certain pages, which she just loved.

So we've definitely been pleased with Brighter Vision, and I'm sure when Cole's older we'll probably start ordering him his own package. I think part of the thrill for Accalia right now is that she gets mail. And she loves that! Every day I hear, "Is that for me?" Good thing she thinks it's pretty cool to open junk mail.

Accalia just came down the stairs to tell me she pooped (in the toilet LOL). I said, "Great! Let's wipe your butt." Accalia's eyes got huge and she clasped her hands together and said "Ooooh!!!" in the same tone of voice she'd use if I told her we were going back to Disney World. Her dramatic side definitely comes from her daddy.

Dreamin' the night away

Cory said that Accalia was talking in her sleep when he got up for work yesterday. She was giggling and saying "I'm naked!" Today she woke up for a short time after Cory left and was singing Jingle Bells at the top of her lungs.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt I was in a classroom speaking to a bunch of family members and friends gathered around a table. I was telling them about the dangers of vaccination. The two people I remember most vividly are my dad and my sister in law - probably the two people with which I have the least desire to get into a conversation about the subject.

This morning we had to run out to do a couple errands, and we decided to take a scenic drive, too. Yankton is located in southeastern South Dakota, right across the border from Nebraska. The two states are divided by the Missouri River at this point, and to cross over from Yankton to Nebraska there's the Meridian Bridge. It's a double decker bridge that's been around for many, many years and will be replaced soon because it's not in very good shape anymore. Accalia loves to cross the bridge, so we do that every so often. We also followed the highway along the river for a while to look for bald eagles. This area is a nesting ground for the birds, and today I saw one sitting in a tree. They really leave you breathless when you see one up close. A couple years ago we were camping by the river at Lewis & Clark Recreation Area and there were about a dozen bald eagles flying around near our campsite.That's one reason I'm so happy we're back in Yankton - no matter how short a stay it is.

Just wanted to pass on this site that someone else passed on to me recently:
Baby Dragonfly Designs

Must be on a wahm site kick or something! The reason I thought it was so neat (aside from advocating breastfeeding and homebirth - both of which I strongly support to put it mildly) is that I've been thinking it's time for a new keychain lately and she's selling breastfeeding and homebirth keychains. Why I'm suddenly thinking about keychains is beyond me. Perhaps it's the fact that I've had the same Minnesota Twins keychain that my parents gave me 10 years ago when I got my driver's license. Sometimes you just have to let go...

Ooh! And I'm so excited because the diaper covers I ordered for Cole arrived today! Woo hoo! Thankfully we have larger covers that Accalia wore that he fits into, but all of his small covers were starting to pinch him a bit. I ordered four Bummis Super Whisper Wraps (with snaps not velcro) from Born To Love. Catherine is great to work with and really speedy, too. I had ordered a swim diaper for Accalia long, long ago from her. I got hooked on Bummis thanks to my cousin Rachel loaning us covers that Cole could use right after birth. We didn't start cloth diapering Accalia until she was around 7 months, so newborn diaper supplies were one purchase we needed to make this time around.

I like to support wahm businesses when I get the chance since I have a few friends who do work at home, and I know how much that income helps them to be able to stay at home with their kiddos where they want to be. And it's a way to give just a little less to those greedy big businesses.

Here are a few places I can personally vouch for:
Attached Mamas The service here is fantastic! There are especially a lot of goodies for pregnant mamas (she's expecting her second bundle of joy very soon).

Dancing Moon Herbs and Aromatherapy She concocts these blends out of sheer love and devotion and would probably gladly do so without charging. But hey, that wouldn't help her out now, would it? I can't say enough about how amazing her products are.

Interactive Design Company Admittedly I know very little about web design, but I truly believe she is one of the most talented designers out there! She's also expecting her second babe very shortly and probably is thinking about things other than code, but just know she's out there!

Cole had his four month checkup today. A big part of me wonders why I continue to take him for this checkups as we aren't vaccinating and try to steer away from allopathic medicine in general. Right now we visit our wonderful, wonderful chiropractor every few weeks and I'm contemplating traveling 2 1/2 hours to get to know a classical homeopath.

Okay, I know why we keep going to these well child visits. I like to find out an "exact" weight and height for him. I'm a sucker to see that kind of progress, I guess. It's also a bit of insurance. We have every legal right to not vaccinate, but I know there are people who have gotten into trouble by not following the mainstream medical practices, and this way I can have a record to show that I'm not neglecting my children.

Cole's happy and healthy and growing bigger and bigger and that's what's important. He's just over 16 pounds now. I think Accalia was probably that weight closer to her year mark. Cole's a really long boy, though, too - 27 1/4 inches. He has a bunch of 6-9 month stuff that isn't fitting. I had that problem with Accalia, too, because she was so long. I get the feeling that baby clothes designers make the clothes with the weight of the baby in mind more than the height.

It's a peaceful house right now. Both kids are sleeping. Actually, Cole's been sleeping in the sling for over 3 hours. Exhausted boy!

Whew! Mission accomplished - laundry is all put away thanks to help from dear, dear husband. Of course we already have a hamper full of dirty clothes ready to be washed, but at least we know where all of our clean clothes is at the moment. We actually managed to clean up a lot around the house, so I think we're both ending the day with a sense of accomplishment.

Accalia was in a much better mood overall today - some not so great moments for her and me, but we pulled through. We finally made some playdough this afternoon. I think I had suggested it on Friday, but then we got distracted when she wanted to play Hungry, Hungry Hippos in the bathtub.

We also watched Wizard of Oz. I had rented that Saturday along with Panic Room. Panic Room was an okay movie - a fair share of really bad lines for a Jodie Foster flick, I thought. Anyway, I think Accalia liked Wizard. I remember being really scared of the Wicked Witch when I was younger and especially the scene where that nasty Toto-stealing neighbor is riding around while Dorothy and Toto are spinning around in the house during the tornado.

I have really fond memories of watching that movie when I was a child. It was always such a special event because we'd only watch it once a year when it was broadcast on TV. We'd hunker down with our Cracker Jacks (which was also a special treat, and this was when they actually had decent prizes) and make an evening of it. This is one of those movies that I would never want to buy just because I don't want to get bored with it by watching it over and over again. Same goes for Sound of Music.

Okay, at the moment I have higher hopes that today will be a better day. Cory's giving Accalia a bath right now (one of many she'll have throughout the day), and Cole is sleeping in the sling. He really needs a new diaper, though, so hopefully he wakes up soon.

My goal today is to get all of the laundry washed and put away. I know, exciting stuff! Our house is a bit of a disaster right now, although it's usually in some state of messiness, but I'd like to try to conquer part of that today. A lot of people I know really like using FlyLady, but I'm just to stubborn to listen to someone else tell me how to clean, even if it would work.

Well, this is it - my first entry at my blog. And my first blog! Okay, so I'm a little behind the cyber times. And unfortunately I need to bitch a little in my first post.

Ever get that no so fresh and happy feeling from being around a sick and incredibly whiny and irritable 3.5 year old for over a week? Yup, I'm not very high on patience or understanding right now. And it's all me. I'm the adult. I need to try even harder to be a comforting, nurturing presence while Accalia doesn't feel good, but it can be so hard! I'm drawing on all of my determination as a mindful, attachment parenting, unschooling mama to get us through until she's feeling 100% again. Ugh. At least my four-month-old son is an easy going, happy babe most of the time.

So here I am - a sahm along the beautiful banks (okay, a few blocks away from) of the Missouri River in prairie country. Enjoy what you will.