There are times when Accalia will request something to eat and then stare blankly at me when I ask her what she would like. I'm not sure if she thinks I'm capable of reading her mind and knowing what she wants or if she just wants me to decide for her. I've discovered a way to get her to willingly answer me, though, when she seems without a response. Cory just laughed and groaned when I told him, but it really does work.

Accalia: Mommy, I'm hungry!
Me: What would you like to eat?
Accalia stares blankly or sometimes gives me a puzzled look.
Me: (going into an awful Spice Girls imitation). Tell me what you want, what you really, really want! You want a ...., you want a .....
Accalia: (jumping up and all excited) I want a popsicle (or banana or string cheese or noodles).

So it's made that little part of our day much more fun.

The most popular book from our trip to the library last week has been Ballerina! by Peter Sis. Accalia absolutely loves it. Each page shows a little girl dressed in a different costume and performing a different pose. So each time we read it, Accalia follows along and dances around the living room. She's basically memorized this book.

Yesterday I went to the dollar store with Cole while Accalia and Cory hung out at home, and I bought Accalia a ballerina figurine. They have a few others there, so I'll probably eventually get them all. Accalia is just fascinated and in love with the world of ballet right now.

Last night was a fairly wretched night of sleep. I wasn't able to fall asleep until 1 a.m. Cole wasn't really awake but would settle to sleep unless he was being rocked in the sling. Then we were up for good at 7 a.m. Not the worst night ever, but I had been looking forward to sleep so much! We're all in good moods despite that :) Cole's napping right now, and after he's awake we have to mail a package.

Cory's on call this weekend, so he has to drive up to Sioux Falls both days for rounds. It's a beautiful day today - sunny and in the 70s. Pretty windy, though. We have new neighbors moving in. I think they have two children elementary school age. I talked with the mom briefly yesterday when we were all outside. She seems nice enough.

Last night was a relatively good night of sleep. Cole has been so incredibly restless, though, in the early mornings. Friday morning he started in around 3:30 a.m., and I think I managed to get an hour of solid sleep before I was up for the day thanks to a whining dog. Cole's such a great sleeper otherwise that I know he's just trying to take in all of these changes and wants to be out in the world as much as he can rather than sleep. But I know I'm rather sleep deprived because I'm getting very possessive of my sleep and of any possible alone time I can get. Last night definitely helped, though.

Cory and Accalia were planting seeds for our garden today. It's probably a little late to be just starting them inside, but we'll find out what happens. Accalia picked out some flower seeds (can't remember what they are right now) to plant near the back of the house. In the garden, we're planting radishes, peas, spinach, peppers and watermelon. Let's hope something grows! Accalia now has her own sized spade and trowel and is very excited to help out. At least I'll have company in the backyard while I'm weeding. It'll be a challenge to keep Cole from eating the dirt - got his first sample today. Yummy.

A while back I took part in a panty exchange (think recipe exchange except underwear) that my friend Shannon invited me to do. I sent it to a few of you, too, so some of you know what I'm talking about. Today I got a pair of panties! Imagine my surprise when I check the mail and there's a package from Victoria's Secret. These definitely aren't panties I'll be wearing every day, though. Now I feel bad since I just picked up a pair at Wal-Mart for the person I needed to send panties to. Ah well!

Both Accalia and Cole just fell asleep. This hasn't happened in a long time. Maybe it's the rainy weather we're having that's making everyone so drowsy. I'm just glad to have some quiet for a while. Both kids have been rather challenging lately. Our visit to Mankato last weekend wasn't completely relaxing because both Accalia and Cole were out of sorts. I think there are major changes going on with both.

Accalia's mind is just working constantly and processing so many things. She's making all sorts of connections, especially identifying the different forms letters and numbers can take. Yesterday it was raining slightly when we ran into a building and Accalia started singing "Rain, rain go away!" When we came out the rain was gone and Accalia was so pleased with herself. So today she's been singing a lot in hopes of the rain disappearing, but it hasn't happened yet.

On our way to Mankato last Thursday, we discovered that Cole's third tooth (this time on top) was popping through. No wonder he's been cranky! And I haven't gotten a good look yet, but I think he may have another tooth on the bottom coming through. And now he's pulling himself up onto everything and has even started walking around things a little. So it's completely understandable why he's so out of sorts. He shouldn't be doing all of this at not even eight months, though! LOL!

Judy Jones Found Guilty

This is such devastating news - not just for Judy and her family but for all women in South Dakota and the surrounding states who want an alternative to hospital births. It's so maddening to listen to all of the inaccuracies spouted off by the media, and I'm so saddened to think how far this has set the homebirth movement back. I'm very, very scared to think of what choices I'll face when and if I'm pregnant again. If there's no one available to assist in a homebirth, what do I do? I just can't stomach the thought of going to a hospital after experiencing the birth I did with Cole - at home and unassisted. At this point, I don't feel brave enough to plan an unassisted birth from the start, but it sounds much more appealing to me than trying to fight off the medical establishment while I birth my baby.

What can I do? How can I help? I feel so small and so useless against the powers that be.

I just don't think sometimes. I was talking with my cousin Rachel on the phone this morning with the kids right next to me playing. She was telling me about the bike they were getting their oldest, and I said, "Oh, we're going to get Accalia a bike for her birthday." So, Accalia is standing right there and hears me, of course. She says, "You're getting me a bike for my birthday? Thank you Mommy!" LOL! Maybe she'll forget about it in the time remaining before her birthday :)

We're leaving tomorrow and won't be back until Monday. Going to Mankato to stay with my parents with a one night stay with Cory's parents.

Yesterday Accalia was playing with the kitchen set we picked up for 10 cents at a garage sale and her pretend food. She asked me to join in, so we went back and forth asking each other what we wanted to eat and then cooking it. Then Accalia crawled into the oven part, asked me to close the doors and turn on the oven to cook her. LOL! I told her to tell me when she was done, and when she was she would ask me to eat her.

I've had trouble the last couple days getting really motivated to do a lot of physical stuff because it's been so muggy. Definitely doesn't feel like April in South Dakota. This weather has given me a chance to learn that Cole is a very sweaty child. He's also crawling around like crazy and all over everything. Accalia was lying in her bean bag and Cole just climbed right over her. And then Accalia and I were sitting on the stairs reading and Cole climbed up the first step.

Accalia and I had an opportunity to talk about homeless people today. We were out front drawing with sidewalk chalk and then Accalia ran in the back to her swing set. The swing set is just a few feet from our shed/garage, which is right by the alley. I happened to glance by the back of the alley and saw a pair of feet sticking out. I was too chicken to go back there and actually see the rest of the body because I really didn't want to discover a dead person there. I could tell that it was one of the homeless people that regularly walks through our alley and around the neighborhood, so I also figured he might just be sleeping or resting. At any rate, I called the police just to come and check it out, and an officer did come and had the man and the woman he was with move along. I'm assuming the man was drunk because he could barely walk, and I've seen him walking perfectly well before. There was also a woman with him. I kind of felt bad about calling the police and disrupting them because they're perfectly harmless from what I've seen. But at the same time I don't want people hanging out on our property if they're not invited, you know?

Anyway, Accalia and I just talked a little about who homeless people are and why I called the police and what we can do to help. Accalia was most interested in going outside to see them and talking about our big house, but we decided that may not be the best thing at the moment.

We made it home yesterday. Overall the trip was pretty good. Cory enjoyed most of his conference, although he felt some parts of it were rather pointless. I have to say that spending two days in a motel room with two small children isn't something I want to do any time soon, but we all survived.

On Wednesday, we picked Cory up from work in Sioux Falls and drove to Mitchell to spend the night at our friend Sara's house in order to break up the drive a little. Accalia thought that was pretty fun to actually spend the night instead of just coming for a visit. Cole slept for about two hours after we took off Thursday morning, and we stopped at Kadoka for lunch after he woke up. Side note: Kadoka is where Cory and I spent our second night of wedded bliss on our way out to Spearfish Canyon. After lunch, we drove on to Wall Drug and stopped there so Accalia could run around. We picked up our requisite free bumper sticker (to put on Accalia's car) and then headed on to Rapid City. Before Cory started his conference, we had time for a dip in the pool. They had a really tiny kiddy pool separate from the big pool, so that was really nice. Cole loved it, and he actually scraped up the bottoms of his toes from jumping up and down so much in the pool. After Cory was finished listening to the keynote speaker, we headed out for supper at Outback (Cory's choice) then came back to the hotel where the kids crashed for the night.

The next day the kids and I visited Dinosaur Park. Accalia loved running up and down the hillside and seeing all of the huge concrete dinosaurs. I think the park was built back in 1939 (late 1930s for sure) by the Works Project Administration. After that, we made a trip to Toys R Us (one of two) so Accalia could become the proud owner of a tutu. She's gone through two since her ballet fascination began, so hopefully this one will last a while. We also stopped at Borders, and I saw a book there that caught my eye: Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts. I think that's another one to add to my wish list.

Over the course of the rest of the day, we managed to hang out at the hotel, take in a meal or two and once again relax. After supper at Applebee's, Cole fell asleep and Cory took Accalia to the pool, so I had a few minutes of peace in the hotel room and finished up the Jeffrey Deaver novel I'd been reading.

On Saturday, I took the kids to a park before we left Rapid City. The ride home went much better than expected. Cole slept nearly three hours until Chamberlain. An hour past that we were in Mitchell again where we stopped for supper. We headed home after that, with one brief stop to nurse a cranky boy. Cory's parents had stayed at our house while we were gone in order to dog sit Lucy. How nice was that!?! And Cory's mom cleaned our house. LOL! It's hard not to feel like a complete failure as a housekeeper coming home to a house that clean. It was definitely appreciated, though.

Today we haven't been doing much. Made a trip to the grocery and dollar stores and just hung out around home. Cory took both kids (my first time completely along since Cole was born!) to the library, but that only lasted about a half hour because Accalia was so out of sorts. I did manage to answer my online help forms for LLL during that time, so that was nice. Both kids have just falled asleep in the past half hour, so they were both going until past 10. Way beyond what they should have been! They were both so overtired, but I think they were both so happy to be home and have their stuff again.

This will be a short week at home. We're leaving Thursday for Mankato and won't be back until Monday. My mom is rather anxious to see the grandkids. It's been more than a month, and she hasn't seen Cole crawl yet and hasn't checked out his two teeth.

We're leaving tomorrow and won't be back until Saturday - heading out west to Rapid City so Cory can attend a counseling conference. As usual, I will keeping Accalia entertained during the day. Sometimes that's not the funnest thing when you're in the confines of a hotel room, but we don't plan to be there too much. Accalia's so excited about swimming in the pool. Hopefully Cole will like it, too, or else our pool time will be severely limited to when Cory is around. I'm planning on taking the kids to Dinosaur Park, which is basically just a small stop on a hillside with half a dozen or so huge concrete replicas of dinosaurs. Accalia and I went there when she was about 1 1/2 and it freaked her out a bit. This time I have a feeling she'll be more excited.

The most exciting thing that has happen this week is that I was offered the position of Coordinator of Leader Accreditation for the Minnesota and Dakotas area of La Leche League. That's moving on up from the Associate Coordinator position. I'm excited about it because it means more contact with the area council and department heads. I think it will definitely be challenging at times to balance these responsibilities with the kids and the house. "Don't worry, Mama" is what Accalia would say. She says that a lot. I wonder where she picked that up. I don't say that very often. I'll have to pay really close attention to make sure I really don't!

I'll write more when we return!

It's snowing right now. Has been since around 5 or 6. Big, fluffy, wet flakes. We're supposed to get 4-8 inches by tomorrow. I think Cory's going to be staying home from work. Woo hoo! I think I can handle that.

Before the snow, it was windy and cold, cold, cold. Cole was upstairs napping and Cory was cleaning our humidifiers and Accalia wanted to go outside for a bit. So the two of us went outside and drew with sidewalk chalk. Then we chugged up and down the sidewalk like the train from "The Little Engine That Could."

Tonight Accalia conked out early but Cole just wouldn't fall asleep. By the time he realized he was tired, he was way overtired and just screamed and screamed until he fell fast asleep. I don't especially enjoy those times. Now everyone is up in bed and I'm doing a few things before I head there myself.

My cousin Rachel mentioned in an email about all the different magazines she'd like to subscribe to and how hard it is to choose. Not to mention the cost of all of those subscriptions! Right now I'm subscribing to two magazines: Mothering and Pandora's Box.

I guess I also receive NEW BEGINNINGS and LEAVEN through being a member and Leader of La Leche League International.

Some of the magazines I would like to subscribe to (in no particular order) include:
Compleat Mother
Brain, Child
Home Education Magazine
Hip Mama

Okay, those are just a few of the magazines I'd like delivered to my mailbox. I have no idea when I'd find the time to read them, of course, since I'm so far behind on the ones I already subscribe to! It's a nice thought, though, to imagine those days curled up in an overstuffed chair, sipping a cup of tea and doing nothing else for hours on end except reading.

Well, I can't say that yesterday stayed peaceful for long. That morning we discovered that the downstairs toilet was blocked. It still is today but not quite as bad. We have no idea what happened. Accalia has never put toys or other objects in the toilet, and she said she didn't do anything now. Her answer when we asked if she put anything in the toilet? "Poop!" I went out and bought an auger to try my hand at unblocking it, but that didn't do the trick. Cory thinks he'll probably have to take the toilet off this weekend if it doesn't clear up before then. What a pain!

We had to run to Wal-Mart yesterday for a couple things, and there was this mom behind me in line with two girls similar to Accalia and Cole's ages. She immediately commented on the position I had Cole in in the sling (chest to chest) and said she couldn't figure out how to do that. Someone else in Yankton with a sling? Very cool! So I waited for her and showed her how to do it. Glad to be of service to those wanting to do a bit of baby wearing :)

Today we have to run to the post office, and then I think we'll go to the library and see what DVDs they have to rent.

I'm up a little past six this morning with both kids still sleeping peacefully. I wasn't planning on being up this early, but Lucy came wandering in to the bedroom after Cory left whining to go out. I have to remember to tell Cory to keep the bedroom door shut. Lucy has some serious spring fever, I think. It is a gorgeous spring day, though. We slept with windows open last night.

Now I think I'll catch up on my regular blogs, drink some oj and start off the day on a peaceful, happy note.

Usually I don't seem to get many really good deals when I'm shopping, but lately I've gotten a couple and been so impressed with myself. On Sunday, we stopped at Kmart for a couple things, and on their clearance racks they had a pair of girls' winter boots for $3 (normally $30). They're about one size bigger than what Accalia is wearing right now, and I just couldn't pass them up. So, I'm really, really hoping Accalia's feet don't grow too much over the summer.

And today our free DVD player arrived in the mail. Well, in reality it probably cost $2 or $3, but I'd say that's pretty good! We got it through FreeDVDS.com The way this works is that you earn enough points for free DVDs or even a DVD player by signing up for various programs, credit cards, etc. I think you could manage to do it for absolutely nothing, but a few of the programs I signed up for charged a $1 non-refundable processing fee. I was okay with that, though, since we can't afford to pay full price for a DVD player right now and it's not something we need. So Cory set it up after supper and after we walked Lucy. Thankfully we had the Spiderman DVD that Cory bought the day it came out (even though we didn't have a DVD player at the time). He's a bit of a fan :)

This morning we went to the library, and there was some sort of group - maybe a preschool class - there for story time. We usually try to avoid those times because Accalia likes to go to the library and have all of the toys to herself :) Sometimes she's in the mood to be social with the other kids, too. Anyway, I was standing a few feet away from all of the activity making copies of the contract I signed for Cole's birth story appearing in the upcoming issue of Pandora's Box Magazine, and by the time I made it over there one of the teachers had apparently invited Accalia to join in. Accalia looked eager and hesitant at the same time, and I sat nearby while she sat with the dozen or so children and listened to a few stories. Then we were all led to the auditorium where we sat and watched a short movie. Accalia sat right up front and started getting a bit restless in the middle. I walked over and explained to her that she had to sit quietly and watch the movie while she was with the group so she didn't disturb anyone. "I'm sorry, Mommy!" When the movie was over, all of the children lined up and started walking out to their bus. I moved alongside Accalia and held out my hand for her. She started to take it and then hesitated, looked around and then grabbed on to my hand - almost as if she had to see if it was okay for her to do it. I asked if she had fun, and she said yes but seemed rather subdued for a while after that and was quite willing to go home then.

I think many of the people who read this blog know of our decision to unschool and allow Accalia to continue to learn without restrictions, but many may not know just how strongly I feel about the school system. And what I saw today really reinforced these beliefs and made me so happy that we won't be turning Accalia over to the care of a stranger in a couple short years. I have to admit I was surprised at how well Accalia sat and followed the directions of the teachers and librarian. "You see, Amy, Accalia does like structure!", I can hear my mother-in-law saying. What I saw that really bothered me is that as soon as Accalia sat down with that group of children it was like a light went off. She put all of her natural exuberance and curiosity on hold in order to listen to this stranger talk to her for a half hour or so. Why would I want to do this to her for eight hours a day five days a week then? Admittedly, there are times at home where I wish she'd sit so passively, but I don't want that to be forced on her the majority of her day. But Amy, you may say, how is she going to learn how to act in settings like that if she doesn't go to school? Well, obviously she did just fine today without the benefit of years and years of classroom instruction.
It just really freaked me out to see Accalia turn into an assembly line kid before my eyes.

Here are some links that I've found very inspiring in my unschooling journey so far:
Unschooling.com
John Taylor Gatto
Holt GWS
John Taylor Gatto's writings

Well, circumstances haven't allowed for me to have my alone time. That's okay, though. Cole had a really rough night. He woke up at 1 a.m and threw up, then was up crying at 2, 3, 3:30, 4 and 4:30. By that time, he was feeling rather warm so I gave him some Advil and both of us slept until 8:30. I hope this cold doesn't develop into something more. He seems okay today but has been sleeping more this afternoon. And now it sounds like Accalia's waking up from her monster nap.

Our exciting family adventure today was to check out the new dollar store in Yankton. And it's actually pretty cool. We had a fun time wandering around.

Goodie, goodie, goodie! Tomorrow Cory is taking both kids - I repeat, both kids - to the library. That means I'll get a half hour at least completely to myself! Wow. That hasn't happened in nearly seven months. I remember when Accalia was around six months and Cory started taking her places for a short time (as long as she was comfortable being away from me), and I spent most of the time sitting in a chair wondering what to do with myself. Here's what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm going to read the Sunday paper as much or as little as I want. I'm going to sit and play piano. Those are two things that I haven't been able to do without children on or near me since I can't remember.

So, while I'm looking forward to such a frivilous and self-involved thing, I have one cousin somewhere in Iraq (last we heard he was in Kuwait moving that way). Hopefully all is well with him. He's young - maybe 20 now - and became engaged a short time ago. Another cousin is heading to Kuwait in the next few days. Prayers are greatly appreciated for Jonathan and Chris.

Last night Cole fell asleep around 10:30 or so, and I headed upstairs to sleep myself. Cory wasn't ready for bed yet, and Accalia wasn't either thanks to a late nap, but she came upstairs and laid in bed with me and talked a bit. Cole was lying between us, and she started rubbing his head.

Accalia: I like Cole. I like his little head. He has sharp teeth! (she's finally noticed the two teeth that have erupted over the past couple weeks)

Then we started talking about Blue's Clues and the Green Puppy character. It's so nice to be able to talk with your kids about what they're interested in and actually take them seriously and be interested in it yourself. It really irritates me to hear adults speaking to children in such condescending tones. I often wonder when people who don't treat children as actual "real" people decide that the children are old enough now to be "one of them". I do think there are people who don't intentionally try to treat children like that - perhaps they just don't know how to interact with children.

Just rambling, I guess. It really made me feel good last night to know I can enjoy my children as people even when they're young, rather than waiting until they're 18 and ready to leave the house when I realize how much I missed out on.

For the past couple of days, Cole has been showing more of an interest in solid foods. Now, I have even less of a desire to give him anything other than breastmilk than I did with Accalia. Besides the obvious benefits of delaying solids, it's just such a pain compared with lifting up your shirt and that's it! I've been eating nectarines today, yesterday and the day before, and Cole has taken to sharing my fruit snack with me. Eating solids for him, so far, is licking whatever it is. And the really cute thing is that he shivers after he tastes the food. Today he grabbed my water glass from me and was eagerly licking up water, and he was giggling as he did that. What an adventure the world of solid foods is for our little ones! So much experimenting to do.

Accalia has been adding more and more phrases to her sentences. Instead of asking me to "open this", she'll say "open this for me". Does similar things with a lot of her conversing now. She doesn't clearly pronounce some of her letter sounds yet, so I know others have a bit of trouble understanding her sometimes. I'm not concerned, though, and ready to seek out a speech therapist.