Happy Mother's Day, mamas! I hope you're enjoying a day full of joy and peace with your children. The necklace I'm wearing was made by Accalia and works extremely well as a nursing necklace to entertain those busy little hands of Ella.

My day started out good although too early for my liking (even though it was 8 a.m.) I went to bed at 2 a.m., so I guess I have no one but myself to blame for being tired. Everyone was up within a half hour of me, and I was quickly presented with cards and gifts. I received a small box of yummy dark chocolate truffles, Arcade Fire's latest cd and a new wind chime to add to my small collection on the back porch. It's the first one with a green leaf (if you can tell that) in the picture below.



It's a fairly hot and very windy day, and we got out our wading pool and filled it up. The kids have been having a blast with it, and I couldn't resist taking a picture of Ella in her swimsuit (an old one of Accalia's purchased at Old Navy). Don't ya just love that belly?



In a previous post I mentioned that Cole is having a hard time right now not being first in a race, losing a game, etc. Sister-in-law Jessica asked how I handle this. First let me say that I'm ALWAYS open to gentle and respectful ideas because I often find myself completely clueless how to handle these things.

Cole usually has the hardest time dealing with these things when he's tired or hungry, so obviously it helps a great deal to stay on top of things and avoid these situations when tiredness or hunger abounds. This usually works with a gentle reminder to Accalia. Of course, feeding Cole and encouraging rest are also helpful.

I also find that the more I'm present with the kids the less likely these things are to happen. Actually, being present with your children is probably just about the best way to prevent a lot of these things from happening.

Obviously, though, you're not always going to be present or able to prevent these things, so I try to lessen the bigness of the competition. If Accalia and Cole race to the van and Cole is upset because he wasn't first, I'll sometimes say something along the lines of, "Hey, you're second! Ella's third! I'm fourth! I've always wanted to be fourth!" Or I use humor: "You're right, Cole. You weren't first. You're actually a blue elephant!" Sometimes those tactics are successful. Other times Cole can't be detracted from the hurtfulness of this indignity. So then I usually use those active listening skills honed by LLL work: "You're upset that you didn't come in first, bud. You wanted to be first, didn't you?" Sometimes all Cole wants is to be acknowledged.

Accalia's at an age, too, where she'll help out to lessen or prevent some situations. For instance, last night we went to Wal-Mart to wander around (and bought five tulips for 10 cents each), and the kids first stopped in the game room so Accalia and Cole could play air hockey. I knew right away that Cole would have a major meltdown if he didn't win, so I quietly asked Accalia if she could let Cole win and she eagerly went along with that.

A book that I've heard is helpful with some of these issues (I've owned it since before Cole was born but have yet to read it) is Siblings Without Rivalry.

Most helpful for our family (since they come from an unschooling perspective) would be the parenting examples and information on sites such as Sandra's and Joyce's. I think the information is definitely helpful for any family, though.