This morning we went to the library, and there was some sort of group - maybe a preschool class - there for story time. We usually try to avoid those times because Accalia likes to go to the library and have all of the toys to herself :) Sometimes she's in the mood to be social with the other kids, too. Anyway, I was standing a few feet away from all of the activity making copies of the contract I signed for Cole's birth story appearing in the upcoming issue of Pandora's Box Magazine, and by the time I made it over there one of the teachers had apparently invited Accalia to join in. Accalia looked eager and hesitant at the same time, and I sat nearby while she sat with the dozen or so children and listened to a few stories. Then we were all led to the auditorium where we sat and watched a short movie. Accalia sat right up front and started getting a bit restless in the middle. I walked over and explained to her that she had to sit quietly and watch the movie while she was with the group so she didn't disturb anyone. "I'm sorry, Mommy!" When the movie was over, all of the children lined up and started walking out to their bus. I moved alongside Accalia and held out my hand for her. She started to take it and then hesitated, looked around and then grabbed on to my hand - almost as if she had to see if it was okay for her to do it. I asked if she had fun, and she said yes but seemed rather subdued for a while after that and was quite willing to go home then.

I think many of the people who read this blog know of our decision to unschool and allow Accalia to continue to learn without restrictions, but many may not know just how strongly I feel about the school system. And what I saw today really reinforced these beliefs and made me so happy that we won't be turning Accalia over to the care of a stranger in a couple short years. I have to admit I was surprised at how well Accalia sat and followed the directions of the teachers and librarian. "You see, Amy, Accalia does like structure!", I can hear my mother-in-law saying. What I saw that really bothered me is that as soon as Accalia sat down with that group of children it was like a light went off. She put all of her natural exuberance and curiosity on hold in order to listen to this stranger talk to her for a half hour or so. Why would I want to do this to her for eight hours a day five days a week then? Admittedly, there are times at home where I wish she'd sit so passively, but I don't want that to be forced on her the majority of her day. But Amy, you may say, how is she going to learn how to act in settings like that if she doesn't go to school? Well, obviously she did just fine today without the benefit of years and years of classroom instruction.
It just really freaked me out to see Accalia turn into an assembly line kid before my eyes.

Here are some links that I've found very inspiring in my unschooling journey so far:
Unschooling.com
John Taylor Gatto
Holt GWS
John Taylor Gatto's writings