I vacuumed this morning. We really, really need to replace all of the carpeting in this house. It's so old, and it's that lovely brown color left over from the 70s or possibly 80s. We don't have a ton of carpeting - living room, stairs, upstairs landing and one bedroom. We have three rooms with hardwood floors that Cory refinished himself, but I don't think he's feeling up to the challenge of taking on any more wood floors. I'd love a house where all the floors were beautiful wood with area rugs scattered this way and that.

Cole's sleeping in my arms right now. Tired, tired boy. Maybe once he's awake I'll be motivated to dust the bookshelves.

Cole became less and less fussy as the evening progressed. Hopefully this trend continues tomorrow! The reason for his fussiness hit me like a "duh!" tonight. I've been so busy focusing on him teething that I've forgotten about all of the major developmental stuff that's happening with him. He's right on the verge of crawling, and becoming mobile is definitely big. And he also seems to be experiencing a bit of separation anxiety and realizing that he's a separate being from me and Cory. He gets very upset if one of us leaves his field of vision. So I'm guessing that when this all passes, I'll have a crawling baby boy underfoot who's not afraid to leave me in the dust as he follows Accalia around :)

Accalia watched her Angelina Ballerina video tonight. She stood for most of it, doing all of the dance moves herself. I really should get her a kids' ballet video so she can have fun with that, too.

As Cory was leaving for work at 6 a.m. today, he told me that Mr. Rogers died. What pleasant news to fall back asleep to, huh? Not that I really slept any longer thanks to a very restless Cole. He just hasn't been himself these past couple days. Very cranky. I think he's getting low on sleep now, too, because he's only been taking short cat naps throughout the day rather than a few longer ones. Time will tell...

I don't remember watching Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood as a little girl. I was more of an Electric Company and Sesame Street kind of girl. Accalia has never shown much interest in Mr. Rogers' up to this point either. She's seen it a couple times but has never sat still through an entire show. Maybe when she's older, she'll show an interest. I'm glad that reruns are still being shown on PBS ever since he retired two years ago. From what I saw and read, he was such a gentle spirit and truly cared for and respected children.

I am just completely worn out by the energy of my children. Accalia is just now sleepy enough to go to bed, and she didn't even nap today. Cole has just fallen off to dreamland, too. It's been a rough day for him. He was pretty cranky. I think it's due to teething, and I guess I'll just have to patiently wait for that first tooth to pop up. Accalia never seemed to be bothered much by her first teeth. Now, if Cole is anything like Accalia, he has nearly four more months to go before his first tooth makes an appearance. I really think he will be earlier, though.

We had an uneventful trip to the library. Accalia started picking out books at random and instructed me to go pick out a movie for her. I do go through the books she's chosen and put some back because they're either way too long for her or I know she has absolutely no interest in them. But she loves to be read to and is showing me that.

We also stopped at the childrens' consignment store in town - Peek A Book Boutique - where I found two sleepers for Cole for a grand total of $5. Now he should make it through the rest of the cold weather, and then we'll have to get him new pajamas.

I had my hair cut tonight. When we lived in Yankton before, I just loved my stylist. Unfortunately that place closed during our absence and I have no idea where my stylist is now. So I've been going to the Regis Salon located in the mall. That way Cory can walk around with the kids and be amused during my haircut, and Cole has easy access to me if need be. It won't be long before I'll feel comfortable leaving them all at home for my haircut, but I'm not ready yet :) Yes, I could just pump a little for Cole in case he's hungry or thirsty while I'm gone, but I'm lazy! I think I would be an absolute failure if I worked outside the home. LOL!

Anyway, I think I'm going to find a new stylist. First, my haircuts take forever! My stylist apparently can't cut and talk at the same time because she stops working on my hair every time she says something - and she's chatty! Now, I don't have a lot of hair to work with, so it shouldn't take long. But it just drags on and on! And, she cuts my hair like a boy's. Seriously, that's what it feels like. I told her at the start that I like my hair razored because it thins it out and adds some layering, which is what my hair needs in order to look halfway decent. She told me she does something similar - which other stylists have told me, too, and it's been fine - but she just doesn't quite get it. I hate searching out new stylists. I really wish my hair were all one length and just required a basic trim. Now that would make life easier!

Today has been a really good day, although I didn't expect it to considering the way I woke up. First, I woke up with a bad headache. Now how does that happen? So I wake up with this headache and squeezed in between Accalia and Cole. Cole was in a really restless sleep, and Accalia was apparently having a bad dream because she was crying in her sleep. At least the day improved from there.

It wasn't that we did anything extraordinary. It was just one of those days where we all get along really well and are just happy together. Accalia played with a bunch of her stuffed animals, dolls and assorted people much of the afternoon. She was arranging them in all sorts of containers so they could go places. Whenever I ask her where they're going, she always says "Burger King." I don't particularly like Burger King, so I'm not sure why that's such a happening destination.

Then, while I was making chicken noodle soup for supper, Accalia was busy wrapping some of her toys up using scraps of wrapping paper and bows. After she wrapped up three toys, she opened them and was quite excited to discover her gifts :)

I've been trying to work on my ACLA orientation when I can. I'm working on the prototype application, so that requires a bit of thought in responding to the messages I'm receiving from the "leader applicant" I'm corresponding with. The kids haven't been giving me a great deal of thinking time lately, so it's slow going.

Oh, perhaps the bright spot of the day was receivin the premiere issue of Pandora's Box Magazine! I've just started reading it, but already I'm thinking I'll be looking forward to it as much as I do Mothering Magazine This issue is full of stories about unassisted births, un/homeschooling, nursing, vegan/vegetarian cookings and lots more. And to top it all off, it's a really attractive magazine. The design is really clean, and the only ads are in back of the magazine, so those don't clutter your view while you're digging into the stories.

Well, I think I'm going to try to accomplish a few things while Cory bathes Cole.

I came across Operation Military Support while reading this online journal. I signed up to correspond with a soldier who isn't expecting to receive regular messages from anyone. While I don't support this impending war, I don't think that means I can't show my support for the soldiers. I have a number of extended family members who are in one branch or another of the military service, and I know how much it means to them to have people at home thinking of them.

I was up early this morning with Cole because he leaked through his diaper and was wide awake by the time I had a new diaper and sleeper on him. I think I'll be heading back to bed soon, though, since he's falling asleep and Accalia's still asleep.

Cole is SO active. He seems to constantly need movement and/or the stimulation of other people when he's awake. There are times where he's perfectly content to ride around in the sling with me, but he's much happier when there are other people to look at and interact with during that time. So different from Accalia. Cole's reached that wiggly baby stage where the instant I put him on his back to change his diaper, he rolls right over and is trying to reach for something. He hasn't quite figured out crawling forwards. He usually scoots back a little or to the side or in a circle and gets extremely frustrated doing it. Cole also has started imitating us waving hello - at least I think that's what he's doing. When he sees one of us if we've been out of his sight, he'll jerk his arm up and down a couple times. So far he seems to be a rightie. Accalia is most definitely a leftie.

Accalia has boundless energy, too! Geez, I really wish these kids would pass some of it along to me. LOL! She's really become interested in scissors over the past few days, so she's been having fun cutting up paper. And amazingly, she hasn't made any moves to cut up anything that wouldn't make me very happy. Yesterday I was making blueberry muffins (from a mix), and Accalia decided to butter a piece of bread. She's an amazing bread butterer. So she did that and then proceeded to break up tortilla chips and layer the piece of bread. She thought it was very yummy. Then she took a scissors and cut up the piece of bread. LOL!

Yesterday Accalia, Cole and I went to visit our friend Sara at the hospital and see her fresh new babe, Claire. Cory met us there on his lunch break, so he was able to take in the little one. She looks so similar to her big sister and has a full head of dark hair. So sweet! I was looking back at pictures of Cole as a newborn - just a few days old - and can't believe he was ever so tiny. He had dark hair, too, at the start, which has turned very light. It'll eventually turn dark like mine and Cory's. Accalia's is still really blonde, but you can see the beginnings of dark roots.

After we got home, Accalia was watching the movie "Thumbelina." I walked into the room and pointed to the green amphibians dressed up in costumes and makeup and asked, "Are those frogs?" Right away Accalia said, "No, those are toads!" LOL! Apparently I still don't know the difference between frogs and toads :)

My friend Sara had her baby! A little girl named Claire Julia now joins their family of three. I'm so incredibly proud of Sara because she had the VBAC she was so intent on having. I hope she's feeling on top of the world right now, just four hours since the birth.

It's makes me so sad and so angry that the mainstream medical establishment is deep in a VBAC backlash right now. They falsely believe or at least say the reason many hospitals refuse to do VBACS is a safety issue. If anyone looks at the studies, though, they'll see that labors allowed to progress naturally - not induced or intervened - are perfectly safe. The chance of uterine rupture in those cases is very small. Considering what doctors get paid in order to perform a c-section rather than attending a vaginal birth, it's no wonder they're so supportive of this way overused surgery.

Here's an amazing, empowering woman and her thoughts on birth, c-sections, what have you: BirthLove. Her entire site used to be free to all, but I believe financial considerations prompted her to make some areas subscriber only. At least you can sample her wisdom and insight.

Accalia and Cole are both asleep. They must be really worn out by everything we've done today. It's another beautiful day - sunny and in the 50s - so we've been outside a lot. It's also been windy, so that's made it feel a bit cooler out, but it's helping to dry up all of the water and mud.

Yesterday I had shown Accalia how to sign "I love you", and today she came up to me and signed it :) She doesn't really comprehend that some people are unable to speak or hear, but she loves learning a different way to speak.

Today we had fun playing the games at Great Lakes Kids. Accalia especially liked the habitat game where she could place each animal in the appropriate habitat. The ideas of habitats, endangered species and migration are all a bit over her head right now, but she has a pretty good idea of where each animal's home is. She got a bit upset when we were playing the migration game and my bird kept getting there first, so we had to move on to another game :)

This morning we set out on a walk around the neighborhood. It took two attempts, though, because the first time Accalia slipped on some ice that hadn't melted in a puddle and we had to go back inside to change clothes. And this afternoon we went to a park across from the hospital where she was born to play and feed the ducks and geese. Most of the playground equipment was surrounded by water and mud, but we had fun anyway. And the ducks and geese were definitely happy to see us. Accalia wanted to hold a duck but didn't seem to disappointed when I explained that we couldn't.

It's beautiful out today. The sun is shining and it's around 50 degrees - definitely a treat for South Dakota in February. The downside, of course, is that all of the snow (just a few inches actually) is melting and it's very muddy. I hate letting Lucy in and out on days like this.

Accalia and I treated ourselves to chocolate ice cream cones at Dairy Queen before heading to the library. Accalia insisted on wearing this heavy pea coat that's been hanging in her closet all winter - first time she's wanted to wear it. Anyway, we went to the library and loaded up on books, videos and books on tape. I was searching for some of the books recommended in a recent issue of Magical Childhood. Alicia puts out a great newsletter, and it's always full of fun ideas and helps remind me of all of the simple things out there that kids really enjoy.

Another memorable dream last night. I dreamt that I confronted my older brother, Anthony, and his wife, Kathy, because they had suddenly embraced the Ezzo philosophy of scheduling feedings with their 3 year son, Elijah. In the dream, though, Elijah wasn't 3, but he wasn't a newborn baby either. The scheduling they had picked was to just feed Elijah at 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. with only an occasional drink of water in between. When I asked why they decided to do this, Anthony said they had to teach Elijah to eat correctly. When I asked if they went so long without eating or drinking, they had no reply.

I know exactly why I had this dream and why it was Anthony and Kathy. Both Kathy and my other sil on that side of the family have often expressed concerns about their boys eating too much of something or just wanting to eat a lot - at least from what I've witnessed at my parents' house. I've mentioned in the past here that I believe that Accalia is in complete control of when, what and how much she eats. My job is to be sure I'm providing her with a variety of mostly healthy foods. So, I think that's why Anthony and Kathy were in the dream.

Dreaming about the scheduling, though, has to be about the changes we've recently made with our nearly 5-year-old dog, Lucy. We saw a dog trainer finally, and she gave us some suggestions to (as she put it) "make Lucy see herself as your dog and not you as her people." One of those suggestions was to give Lucy her food at a certain time and make sure she sees who gives it to her, and then taking it away after a certain time whethe she's eaten or not. Before we had just been filling her bowl and leaving food in it throughout the day. Well, obviously this change goes against all of my parenting philosophies, so I have to keep reminding myself that Lucy is a dog and not a child, and dogs require a different approach in some matters. And really, it's not a big deal to Lucy because she only eats once a day anyway, and we give her the food around the time that she usually eats.

Apparently, though, I'm dealing with some big guilt issues. LOL!

Something happened tonight that is still giving me the shivers and making me wonder if we have a poltergeist :)
For Accalia's first birthday, we bought her a puzzle from Playstore Toys
The giraffe piece was missing before we moved when Accalia was about 15 months old. I contacted Playstore and they sent a free replacement piece. It didn't fit quite right, though, since every puzzle is slightly different. Well, Accalia is now closing in on 4 and we're back in the same house where the puzzle piece went missing. Tonight I was by her shelf that holds all of her puzzles and saw the giraffe piece sitting there. I picked it up to put back with that puzzle and saw that there was a giraffe piece already there. We found the missing piece! I'm assuming the movers must have found it when we moved that first time and we just never unpacked it while we were living in Mitchell. Then one of us must have found it while we unpacked from this recent move but never realized we had two giraffe pieces until now. Still, it just gives me the creeps! LOL!

Today has been a rather blah day. I just haven't felt centered or inclined to focus on much of anything. I did clean up our guest room fairly nicely, though. And a box of clothes that I thought included only too big clothes for Accalia had some stuff that fits her now. Woo hoo! Both kids have conveniently chosen the same time to have growth spurts, and we're finding more and more pants of Accalia's that are too short. At least she has a bunch on hand me downs from her cousin Mariah. I'm hoping with this next paycheck I'll be able to pick up a couple new outfits for both Accalia and Cole. Of course it's an awkward time of year weather wise where we could still need really warm stuff for a couple months or we could be breaking out the short sleeves soon. I'm thinking a trip to the childrens' consignment store here in town is in order. Darn!

Accalia discovered a teeny tiny bit of sticky tack on the desk today and was fascinated by it for part of the afternoon. LOL! She was creating all sorts of things with it. She showed me a hat and Spiderman. Then she had a blast sticking different objects up all over the place.

Oh, I thought this link someone on my homebirth list posted was pretty cool: What Are You Worth? So any stay at home parents wondering just how much they could be making with all of their different daily activities should check it out. I was pretty conservative with my numbers, and apparently I still should be making twice what Cory makes :)

It's been a long time since I've remembered any dreams, but last night I seemed to have dream after dream. I don't know if I just had more than usual or remembered them because Cole was quite restless from about 5 a.m. on. Two of the dreams were about my grandma (dad's mom) who died last May after a long struggle with cancer. I've dreamed about her once or twice since she died, and they've always been pleasant dreams, not "My grandma is haunting me" type dreams.

The one I really remember well took place in a house somewhere in Mankato (MN), my hometown and where my grandma lived for a few years before her death. Grandma didn't quite look like herself (her hair was different), but she seemed strong and healthy even though we all knew she was dying. I remember she had 40 different books - little planners with a different letter of the alphabet on each one (obviously some doubles since there are 40 letters). My grandma had each of us gathered there come to the couch with her one by one where she would give us a book. Mine had the letter D on it. Inside she had various events written down - birthdays, anniversaries, etc., some diary-like entrys and even a few packets of vegetable seeds (one was peas).

After my grandma and I talked for a while and I had that book, I remember looking out the window and seeing some tall manufacturing buildings that aren't in the skyline in real life. Suddenly a rusty old plane flew right into them, and after that I woke up.

Now, I'm not good at interpreting dreams, especially all of the small but significant details. So if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

What was most significant to me about my grandma dream is that not once since she died have I felt anything other than peace with her passing. I felt it as soon as she died. She struggled and held on for so long and seemed to be in so much torment. I'm just so glad that I can look back and feel happiness that she's in a better place.

Today's been a pretty good day having Cory home from work. Cole has been rather out of sorts, but I'm not sure why. Maybe he's going to pop out a tooth soon. Accalia has been full of energy. A roll of toilet paper just gave flying over the railing of the landing upstairs - apparently she's discovered our supply :)

We saw my friends Heather and Jeremy this weekend, and Heather being her wonderful, thoughtful self gave us a bunch of colorful craft sticks. This morning we made different stick people using the craft sticks, felt and some googly eyes I had bought a long time ago. I thought Accalia would have wanted to paint with the new tempera paints we bought her over the weekend, but she must have had enough last night when she not only painted on paper but also all over her body. Thankfully she loves to take baths!

We're finally back from our weekend visiting my parents. We were going to leave Friday morning but decided to take off Thursday evening after Cory came home from work and told me what the weather forecast was for the next day - freezing rain turning into snow. So we ran around packing up the rest of our stuff in a half hour and took off. It's a good thing we did, too, because I doubt we would have made it if we left Friday as planned.

I will be so, so happy when Cole enjoys his car seat a little more. Accalia was the same way, but I don't remember when she became more content. The ride to Mankato was not fun. Cole slept about an hour at first. Then we had to stop so he could nurse and hang out in my lap. Unlike Accalia as an infant, he doesn't necessarily want to nurse every time we stop - he just wants to be in our arms. He fell back asleep after that, but then Accalia had to stop a half hour down the road to pee. After that it was an hour or so of driving with numerous stops and starts and a cranky little boy. Finally he fell asleep and stayed asleep until Mankato.

The ride back yesterday was SO much better. I think it helped that he was exhausted from the weekend and that it was during the day so he could see things better. And with our dog, Lucy, sitting behind Cole, he just laughs and laughs every time Lucy moves. And Accalia helps out, too, by entertaining Cole with her laughs and funny faces.

Accalia's a great traveler now. She'll usually sleep for a portion of the trip and then amuses herself with books or toys or just looking out the window. And now she absolutely loves books on tape/cd. We checked out a couple from the library, and we have a Disney book on cd that Accalia got for Christmas. This weekend at my parents, she discovered all of these old books on records (Disney) that my brothers and I listened to when we were little. Of course she constantly referred to the records as cds, but who can blame her for not understanding technology :)

I asked Accalia if she wanted to help me pack up clothes for our weekend away (we're visiting my parents). She said sure and proceeded to empty out most of the contents of her bottom drawer, which consists mainly of pants. She also brought a few dresses, tights, pajamas, underwear and socks. No shirts, though. I think I'll pick and choose for her :)

Speaking of Accalia and clothes, sometimes I really think she's inhabited by the spirit of an 80s girl. She has a bunch of pony tail holders that easily fit on her arms, so she has all of these multi-colored "bracelets" lining both arms. Then her hair is usually in some state of wild disarray (think Cyndi Lauper without the color). And it doesn't hurt that she has a tube of purple lip gloss. LOL! But of course Accalia has no clue what her fashion sense reminds me of. She adds her long, flouncy dresses to the ensemble and says "I'm a princess! Put on my ballerina music!"

My little girl made me cinnamon-sugar toast this morning! Sniff, sniff. She asked for toast and then stood on her little blue chair at the counter buttering the toast and sprinkling cinnamon and sugar on it. I thought she was eating it for herself, but when she was finished she said "Here you go, Mommy." Aww!

We've been having fun this morning making homemade glitter. We made red and orange glitter, and Accalia's been having a blast with a glue stick and glitter. We made some hearts so she could create glittery Valentine art. I think we have Cory's card made now!

Cole's upstairs sleeping in bed. I'm so glad that he's reached the age where he's fine with sleeping on his own every now and then. While it's certainly not a big deal to carry him around in the sling while he's sleeping, having my arms completely free does make it easier to do things with Accalia when it's just the two of us.

Ever have one of those days where you have to jump in your minivan to stay safe while a cow runs through your yard? Well, it happened to us once again.

While we certainly don't live in a metropolitan area, I don't consider our river valley town of approximately 14,000 out in the sticks either. But our house (located in town) is about one mile west of a stockyard. Tuesdays are the day that all of the ranchers and farmers bring their cattle to the stockyard. This morning we were heading out to Wal-Mart (Cory spilled pop on the keyboard last night and fried it). I was buckling Cole into his carseat and Accalia was running around the cedar tree in our front yard. Suddenly two trucks pull up behind the van and two men jump out shouting "There's a cow!" I look in Accalia's direction and there's a HUGE brown cow running between our house and the neighbor's house directly toward her - about 500 feet or so away. Accalia's just standing there staring at this cow. I yell "Accalia!" and run and grab her, while one of the men basically shoves us in the van. The cow runs through our front yard, into the street and heads in a southwesterly direction. I climb out of the van once it's safe and buckle Accalia in - "I was scared, Mommy" - and one of the men stops and apologizes before he heads off to round up the runaway cow.

Something similar happened a few years ago when we lived in Yankton the first time. This was before Accalia was born, I think. We were walking Lucy when a man driving by says "Better get out of the way. There's a bull coming." Lo and behold, a HUGE bull (you just don't realize how large cattle are when you're driving by the fields they're grazing in!) was running by as we neared our house. We hurried Lucy inside so she and the bull wouldn't aggravate each other and then watched a group of men try to chase down the bull.

Could our life be any more exciting? LOL!

Cory was on call this weekend, so he woke up at his usual workday hour of 5 a.m. to head off on his 1 1/2 hour commute. He's only gone in the mornings, though, which is nice even though it would be even nicer for him to have the entire weekend off.

This morning I was able to put Cole down while he napped, and he slept that way for about an hour. This is probably only the second or third time that has happened. He's just like Accalia in that sense. She started sleeping on her own for naps when she was probably around 8 or 9 months old. Before then, putting her down risked her immediate awakening or a very, very short nap. I didn't mind at all with her since I'd just sit and read or play at the computer. It's not a big deal with Cole either since I just snuggle him up in the sling and go about the day. But it was rather nice having my arms completely free. I was able to straighten up the majority of our bedroom - mostly piles of clean laundry on the floor. Accalia came running in once it was clean and danced around because she was so excited to see the floor.

We were planning to go to a program about raptors at the Lewis & Clark Visitors Center since they'd have a few birds to show, and Accalia has had fun searching for bald eagles along the river. We just ran out of time with a grocery shopping trip and checking out half of our library's contents.

Coming down the stairs tonight after changing Cole's diaper, I was singing Jingle Bells for some reason. Accalia said "Don't sing, Mommy. It makes Cole sad." I didn't think I was that bad!

Accalia has been in helper mode lately. With almost every move I make, it's "Let me help you, Mommy!" Right now she's upstairs with Cory helping him install a new toilet paper holder in the bathroom. Her tools for the mission: a bendy straw and a piece of paper.

Earlier tonight she was helping me sort laundry to wash. I told her we were doing a load of darks. Our conversation went something like this:

Accalia: Is this dark, Mommy?

Me: No, that's light.

Accalia: Is this dark, Mommy?

Me: No, that's light.

Accalia: Is this dark, Mommy?

Me: Yes, that is, sweetie.

It's great having a three year old around to help out with things. It makes the mundane so much more enjoyable even though it takes twice as long for everything. It's helps me look at household chores in a different way because Accalia has so much fun doing it all.

Of course she's not always so helpful. Tonight I noticed some greenish bits on the back of our bedroom door. I asked her what it was. Why, boogers, of course! When I asked her why she put them there, she said, "They're so beautiful!"

We cancelled plans to spend the night with friends near Sioux Falls because Cole still isn't quite his old self. He's definitely feeling better and more energetic, but he's not nearly as energetic as he usually is. We had to make one run outside in the bitter cold (9 degrees according to the thermostat in our van) to the post office to mail a package for our niece Mariah's birthday. Whenever we're in the car, Accalia always insists on listening to her "ballerina music". So it's really nice being able to have NPR on or any other station playing classical music without complaints from the kids - at least at this point :)

This afternoon I asked Accalia if she'd help me pick up the living room so I could vacuum. Among the assorted toys were two tubs of legos spread all over the floor. So Accalia got out her tiny bulldozer (holds one lego) and proceeded to pick up the legos one by one. Effective but slow :)

If anyone hasn't read the article about tantrums in the Nov/Dec 2002 issue of Mothering Magazine, please read it! The article isn't online yet, unfortunately, but I hope it will be very soon. It was wonderful reading about the reasons behind tantrums and how you can be with your child through one - and help them through it - without trying to suppress all of the emotions that are coming out.

I prefer the term meltdown to tantrum because tantrum just carries such a negative connotation. It always makes me think of someone talking about their spoiled child throwing a fit because they can't have this expensive toy. And meltdowns are simply what happens when your child is unable to deal well with all of these big emotions they are having, and that's why the parent is there - to keep them safe.

Accalia doesn't have many full blown meltdowns where she's completely irrational and there's nothing we can do until she works through it. Usually she screams or cries but is quickly satiated by something Cory or I offer as a solution or alternative.

Last night Accalia had one of those fullblown meltdowns, and unfortunately Cory was in bed asleep. He had gone to bed early because he's been getting up especially early this week for work. And Accalia had taken a 2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon, so she was ready to go for a while. It was about 10:30 and she wanted to watch cartoons while I tried to get Cole back to sleep. When the cartoon ended (and Accalia's eyes were barely open), I asked if she wanted to go to bed and she said she wanted Cory to read her a story. That's what they do every night, but obviously it wasn't going to work tonight with Cory fast asleep. So I explained that and said she could go upstairs and cuddle with him in bed or I would read her a story. That's when she just started screaming and screaming "Daddy! Read me a story!" This kept increasing in intensity and volume in her hopes that Cory would come downstairs, but he didn't. I can't imagine that he slept through all of that, but maybe he did. Nothing I said or did made a difference, and here I was with a now upset Cole in the sling and a screaming, irrational Accalia. I didn't handle every moment of this as well as I should have, but overall I think I did a pretty good job. She must have screamed like that for minutes until she finally let me take her in my lap - still crying and screaming - until she calmed down. Then I asked if she wanted to go to bed, and she said she wanted to have me read a story. So I read her two stories, we talked about how upset she had been that Daddy couldn't come to read her stories and then went to bed.

It was amazing to be a part of an entire tantrum - from those frantic, shrill screams to the end when she was just a limp little girl. It was so incredibly calm after that. You could feel it everywhere. And Accalia was tired but happy. I can imagine that some parents would have spanked their kids or sent them to their rooms once the meltdown began, but it helps me in dealing with Accalia to ask "How would I want to be treated?" If I were upset and tired and screaming, I certainly wouldn't want Cory hitting me and dragging me upstairs to the bedroom. I would want him to stay close to me, to hold me when I needed it.

It hasn't been that bad of a day so far. Both kids are sleeping right now. Cole has been sleeping all day actually, but I can tell that he's starting to feel better. He's much less restless and isn't crying every time he's jostled a bit.

This morning Accalia and I made paper flower people. She had a blast. We used paper baking cups, drew faces on the inside bottom and then painted the sides with watercolors. Then we taped pipe cleaners on for the stem and now we have a vase of paper flowers on our dining room table :) She held that vase until she decided she needed to put them down in order to eat. LOL!

I hope this isn't an indication of the way the day's going to go. Besides the fact that Cole is finally asleep after crying almost continuously for the past two hours, Accalia just ran upstairs crying after she came down to show me she dressed herself and I told her she looked beautiful. She screamed "No! I'm not beautiful" and ran upstairs. I'm going to blame this start of the fact that both kids are still recovering from colds.

Yesterday the kids and I spent the day at my friend Amy's house. Two other friends - Sara and Karen - were there, too. Very fun! We're all very similar in our parenting philosophies. Nothing better than a room full of apers! I think this is the first time I've been to a playdate where everyone brought a sling. I had a fun time trying out different ones with Cole.

To update everyone on my dad, he's doing fine. His leg is pretty stiff and sore and bruised from where he was ran over, but other than that no damage done! He's taking it easy with work and only doing things like driving the van rather than pushing wheelchairs and lifting people. My parents are really quite the couple. Yesterday my mom had a root canal. She said it wasn't painful, though. That's good to know for future reference!

So here's what happened to my dad. He was a pilot for most of his adult life, but after he was laid off he started pursuing other avenues. Currently he's a driver for American Mobility Vans - he picks up disabled persons and drives them to doctor's appointments or what not. Apparently he was returning an elderly woman to this Catholic commune in the boonies outside of Mankato (MN). They had gotten a couple inches of freezing rain a couple days before, and they had refused to pick up this woman then because the hill to her place is incredibly narrow and steep. I guess they decided it was okay to pick her up last night. Well, my dad's trying to navigate up this ice-covered, steep, narrow and completely dark hill, but he isn't able to get up enough speed to make it around one corner. So he steps out of the van to call his dispatcher and tell her he's stuck when the van starts to roll backwards (it was in park). Mind you, the elderly woman is still inside the van and the van is either headed over the edge of a cliff or into a hillside. My dad is alongside the van trying to steer it to the hillside, which he does. Unfortunately there's a ditch before the hillside and with all of the ice, my dad slips and the van runs over his leg. The wheel went over his thigh and knee, but nothing broke and nothing was crushed. Since my dad was still mobile, he was able to try to get the van going again, but there's no way it would go up the hill. By this time a resident of the commune was coming down to help, and he and my dad ended up wheeling this lady wrapped in a blanket all the way up to her house.

A tow truck had arrived by this time but ended up sliding down the hill sideways for a bit. I'm a little fuzzy on all the details, but my dad apparently got the van down the hill again and drove back home. Damage to the van - driver's side door bends the other way now and the front bender is messed up. So my dad walks into the house and tells my mom he was run over by the van. My mom, being not only a nurse but a sensible woman, told him they were going to the ER. They spent a couple hours there, took a bunch of x-rays and went home.

When I called my dad this morning, he said he slept pretty good last night, was rather sore and couldn't bend down because of his leg, but that was about it. I could tell he just feels awful about what happened. He said he was "petrified" and "scared to death" that the van was going to go over the edge with the elderly woman in it, but thankfully that didn't happen.

So that was my dad's eventful night. Now I'm going to try to get a little sleep!

I think I'm operating on sheer adrenaline right now. Last night was awful! I'm not used to functioning on three hours of sleep. Ugh. Accalia fell asleep at a very decent time last night - 7:30 - but Cole was ready to go after sleeping most of the day. I finally had him asleep and was heading up to bed at 11:30 when the phone rang. I just hate late night calls. That usually means something bad has happened (unless it's a wrong number or you have a pregnant friend due any day). Well, it was my older brother Anthony and he sounded pretty upbeat. He was calling to tell me that our dad was in the emergency room because he had been run over by the van he drives for work! Amazingly and thankfully it just ran over a portion of his leg and there were no breaks - just lots of bruising. Wow! I'll tell that story in a different post. Have to get back to my lack of sleep :)

So, Cory got back up at this point and then Accalia started coughing and crying and woke up and then Cole woke back up. Well, let's just say that Cory and Accalia weren't communicating very well, so I went upstairs to calm Accalia down. Took a while, but she fell back asleep after telling Cory to "Go away, Daddy!" Then I got Cole back to sleep and we were all asleep by 12:30 (Cory in the guest bed LOL). Around 3:30, I think, Accalia woke up again and was really upset for some reason - can't remember now - and started screaming for Cory. So Cory came back in and we all went to sleep. She had gotten up before that because she needed to pee, too, so this was my second full waking for the night. Then around 4:30 she was inconsolable because she woke up wanting a bandaid for her finger, but we were out of bandaids. Cory was getting pretty upset because he had to be up in 45 minutes and wanted to sleep, so I hauled both kids downstairs. That's when we were up for the day. Well, Cole basically slept until past nine, and only when Cole woke up did Accalia fall asleep. Now they're both sleeping, and I'm going to try to sleep, too, after my next post.

Accalia is being so fiercely independent today! She's hardly wanted to do anything with me - not that I've minded. With Cole being sick and sleeping so much and Accalia doing her own thing, I've actually gotten a bit of time to do my thing! This morning it was computer games and this afternoon she's been upstairs playing all over the place. She's asked me to read her books and to get her food, but that's about it. And she was just down here and dusted the tv for me :)

When I was upstairs changing Cole's diaper - after he spit up all over the floor - I said something about all of us being sick. Accalia just started screaming "No! You aren't sick! You don't have a cold!" Apparently I can't be sick! I don't know if she said that because she wants the privilege of this cold to be hers and Cole's or if she doesn't want to think about me being human and being sick :)

Cole is five months old today - wow - and is celebrating by suffering through his first cold. Poor guy is absolutely miserable! He's clung to me for the past two days and hasn't even wanted to play with Accalia. He's been sleeping most of the day so far, and whenever he moves he lets out such a pitiful little cry. His voice is hoarse, too. Accalia got sick with this cold first, then me and now Cole's dealing with it. The three of us are all sick, so it's been REALLY fun experiencing caring for two sick kids at the same time. Thankfully, this morning Accalia spent almost the entire time playing computer games.

We were going to have a dog trainer/behaviorist - the Dog Whisperer as Cory calls her - come over tonight, but I rescheduled for next week so we wouldn't pass this on to her.

It really hasn't been a very exciting day, but I've been happier today than I've been for the past week. Maybe that's just a sign of the sleep deprivation slowly creeping in :) I haven't had a very peaceful night of sleep for a while. Partly it's because Cole is teething and now he's caught the cold that Accalia and I have. Partly it's because Cole's at that age where he has to see everything that's going on and can't miss it for a little thing like sleep. I'm sure I'll catch up with sleep at some point in the future.

Accalia can be too funny at times, especially describing her bodily functions. I find it one of the best parts of having a child no longer in diapers - besides not having to change diapers, of course! Anything to do with our bodies is cause for a joke. Yesterday she had a little pink feather from her pink dress up boa stuck on her butt. When Cory told her about it, she said "Like a chicken!" and started doing a little chicken dance.

Yesterday she was playing with her magnifying glass and was sitting up in my lap getting ready to nurse. She lifted up my shirt and was going to examine my breast until I started cracking up. I told her my breasts are small but not that small. LOL!

Cole, meanwhile, has rediscovered the thrill of blowing raspberries. It's amazing the amount of spit one little boy can produce.

How sad to start the day with news of a tragedy as enormous as the Columbia disaster. We were just sitting in the living room waking up for the day when a special news report announcement flashed across the screen. I thought it would probably be regarding the almost certain war with Iraq. It was shocking to find out that the space shuttle Columbia was most likely gone.

There's part of me that can't help but be drawn to the television footage of a disaster like this over and over again, and another part of me that wants the coverage to stop. An event like this just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I think what bothers me the most is when they show the footage over and over again of when the space shuttle started breaking apart. We're watching the moment those seven astronauts died. That's just too much for me. Imagine what it must feel like for the family and friends of those astronauts. The last time I saw such sickening images of a moment of death was Sept. 11 and the airplanes flying into the WTC.

And of course what happened today brings back memories of the Challenger explosion that happened in 1986 - the anniversary just four days ago. It was the year I turned 10, and I remember how somber all of the teachers were at school. They did tell us what happened, but we never discussed it that day, which I think was a mistake. Accalia was sitting on the couch with us when the news came on, and she was watching it rather intently so I told her what happened. I explained that the people she saw were astronauts (which she has a vague idea of) and they were coming back home when they had an accident and were killed ( the concept of which she probably doesn't understand much at all). She just said "oh" and went on with her day.

On a more positive note, a book I ordered recently arrived today. I'm really looking forward to reading Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto. If you've never read anything by Gatto or heard his ideas regarding education, please check him out!