My maternal grandmother passed away early this morning at her home with all of her children and my grandmother with her. She was 83 years old and lost her final battle with cancer. She was very prepared to die, though, and was looking forward to leaving this world and seeing what Heaven has in store for her.

So, even though she lived a long, full life and was ready to die, it doesn't make a difference in how much you miss that person. I discovered that with Mary. I think one of the biggest blessings of being able to prepare for a death like my grandma and her loved ones did is that you have this opportunity to just be together, laughing, crying, talking, sharing memories. You can say things that you may not have thought to say when a death is more sudden. That doesn't mean there aren't things you'll forget to say or do, but it definitely lessens the chance of regrets in that way. Just yesterday I was thinking about how nice it would be if Grandma were still alive to see the new pictures of Tylan and Cole that will probably be ready tomorrow. In one picture, Tylan is holding a flower and has a slightly devious smile on her face. I can just picture Grandma exclaiming, "Oh!" and telling me how pretty the picture is and how sweet Tylan looks holding that flower.

Grandma was one of the sweetest, calmest people I've ever known. I'm not sure if I ever heard her raise her voice. My mom takes after her so much in personality. Grandma always had something nice to say about you and was always so interested (or at least acted interested!) in what was going on with you. She always seemed to have a little treat for you, too. On our last trip to Mankato - at the beginning of the month - she had a bag of cheese doodles for the kids to take home. One of my favorite things she gave me when I was little was a little tin box with a handle. It had a strawberry design, and I think note paper was inside of it at one point. I may even still have that somewhere in the house. I know I kept it for many, many years.

Going to Grandma and Grandpa's house when they lived at the parsonage in Sanborn has so many happy memories associated with it. I loved that house. I imagine if I walked through it today it may not seem so large and magical, but as a child it was my dream house. I loved the sliding pocket doors that separated Grandpa's study from the living room. I thought it was so neat that their main floor bathroom had two (two!) doors - one opening to the study and one to the kitchen. I remember sitting at the long dining room table and coloring from a book or on paper from a drawer that always was full of something fun to do. Upstairs there was a playroom that opened up from their bedroom. The toys included dolls, games and other odds and ends that my mom and her siblings played with as children. Even the basement was exciting because we were able to go down to the refrigerator there and pick out a pop. I think I usually chose grape.

Even though it's been more than a dozen years since I lived near my grandparents, I will dearly miss her presence in my life both far and near. I can't tell you how happy I am that she was able to be close to so many family members during the latter part of her life, too.

Wow, one month since I last updated! I don't think I've ever done this poor of a job staying up to date. Life is just busy, busy, busy. Tylan, now one year old (!), is also at an age where the ability of Mommy to sit down and focus on something like the computer happens rather infrequently, especially with just one computer in a house where five people like to use it. Oh well. Just a stage of life...

So, let's see what's been happening.

I've had a paper route for about a month now and it doesn't completely suck. I get up at 3:15 a.m. Monday through Saturday to do the route, and I'm back home in two hours or less. If all works out, I can go back to bed for a couple hours before kids start waking up, which really helps. If I don't get to go back to bed, I average about four hours of sleep for the night, which isn't enough for me. The biggest drawback, other than the early mornings, is having to be here six out of seven days of the week. That means that overnight trips aren't happening unless I can locate a sub. I'm getting ready to pursue a work at home position that would be about 20 hours per week and would certainly pay more than the paper route. I hope it will be something that works out, especially since we need to update some computer software in order to move forward.

I'm also about a month into writing for examiner.com as the Sioux Falls Breastfeeding Examiner. I need to start working on another article for that right now. It's definitely not high paying since I get basically a penny for each page view, but I can see how that may add up to a little something as I build my archives and my articles show up in searches.

My LLL work has been getting rather neglected lately, and that has to change. I have to actually get on a bit more of a schedule. That is going to be very tough for me since I happily threw out schedules a decade ago when I became a full time mother, but I will need to figure something out for myself, especially if I start part time work from home.

There have been big changes in our extended family. Cory's dad remarried August 1, and he now lives in Okabena, MN, with his wife, Joan. Myron was just here on Saturday for part of the day to enjoy the Riverboat Days festivities (in particular a turkey leg) and to watch Accalia and Cole's dance performances.

On a somber note, my Grandma Eibs is nearing the end. She was sent home from the hospital last week after being admitted for a bowel obstruction, and is now under hospice care. My mom doesn't think it will be more than a week or so at this point, but you never know how things will turn out. We thought the same with Cory's mom, and she hung on for a month or so even though she desperately wanted to go.

Accalia and Cole have had a summer of big changes, too. Unfortunately, part of that is losing their four closest friends due to moves. The next door neighbors moved across town because the mom and her boyfriend moved in together. I think Accalia is keeping in touch a bit through email. The hope had been that they'd be able to get together to play every once in a while, but I have a sinking feeling that their mom isn't going to help out with that at all. Their other friends are moving back to Louisiana and may actually be on their way or will be this week. The kids are handling this fairly well actually, but now we're on the search for regular playmates once again. They're hoping that whoever moves in next door will have kids around their ages.

Ella continues to be my most challenging, and I don't necessarily mean that in a negative way. I've just never dealt with some of the things that she's bringing to the table, and I need to continue to see this as a way to expand my parenting rather than just as a source of frustration. The biggest thing right now is that she refuses to use the toilet. She'll be four at the end of October and absolutely refuses to use the toilet. She'll willingly go to sit on the toilet and go through all of the motions of wiping, flushing, washing, etc. but won't actually pee or poop. I know in the back of my mind that she'll be out of diapers before I know it, but it's really frustrating to me because I just can't figure out what's going on. Both Accalia and Cole were past three when they were out of diapers for good, but it was never like this. Any gentle, respectful tips for handing this would be welcome!

Tylan is on the verge of full on toddlerhood. She's walking around furniture or wherever she can hang on and will stand on her own, but she hasn't taken her first step yet. I think she'll probably do this in the next week or two. She also hasn't had any teeth pop through yet, but I see them just below the surface on the bottom, and her top gums are so swollen. She'll have a mouth full of teeth in an instant, and I know I'll miss this year plus of gummy grins. She's such a ham, too. She loves nothing more than to do things to make her siblings laugh and to have them make her laugh.

We're cooling off in the air conditioning today since it's around 90 and humid. We took a walk earlier and hung out by the creek that runs through our part of town. We saw a bunch of tiny fish - minnows, mosquitofish, who knows? - a dead crayfish, and a furry little animal that darted in and out of a tunnel so quickly that we didn't get to see whether it was a muskrat or a beaver. We also got to check out some elderberry and wild grape vines.

The van is at the auto body shop for a day or two in order to repair the damage from the car accident I had a few weeks ago. An elderly man driving a minivan went through an intersection as I was going through, and that means a new hood for the van. Thankfully for us he was completely at fault, so his insurance is handling everything.

Okay, that's about it for now. I need to get to a few things, but Tylan is nursing and napping right now, so my abilities are a little limited.